Meredith Efken

Wo Ai Ni Mommy

Meredith — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 07:34:25 -0600

Tonight, on PBS, a documentary is premiering about a family adopting an 8 year old from China. The film follows the family to China, through the adoption, and continues through the first 18 months after they return home.

The trailer is here: http:www.pbs.orgpovwoainimommy

Watching it made me all weepy-eyed. I don't know if I can watch the full film. Do I feel like churning up my emotions like that? Am I in the mood to be a total mess tonight? I don't know.

Why is it that even 11 years after our adoption, those emotions are still so raw for me? So close to the surface? It makes no sense. I was just thinking yesterday "I'm over wanting to adopt again--I like our family the way it is. We're comfortable, settled." And then just a short clip from an adoption film changes all that, and I'd pack my bags and be off to China tomorrow if I could.

It's what made writing Lucky Baby so damn difficult and exhilerating. I adore both my children--adopted and not--but there is something about the adoption experience that has grabbed my soul and won't let go.

I'd encourage you to watch the documentary tonight if you can. I'd love to know your thoughts. And if the film speaks to you, maybe read Lucky Baby as well. Reading the description of the movie, I was surprised at the parallels to my story. It was encouraging to see that I'd done a good job on being realistic with the story line (minus the magical realism, of course.)

I think it should be a good movie--the little girl in it is adorable, and it looks like they're taking a pretty honest approach to adoption throughout, showing both the negatives and the positives. It will be available to watch online, too, through the end of November.

Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions: Review

Meredith — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 13:26:50 -0600

As promised, here is my review of Dan Brennan's book:

Dan Brennan’s ground-breaking book “Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions” courageously attacks the oldest and most difficult wall dividing the Christian church—the wall between male and female. Brick by brick, he dismantles the notion that intimate, even passionate, friendships between men and women are impossible and dangerous. He builds instead an eloquent case that malefemale friendships are healthy, and necessary for becoming whole and complete people.

New Book About Male-Female Friendships

Meredith — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 04:39:09 -0600

I was trying to decide what to blog about today, and I happened across a book that sounds like it would be the book of my heart if I wrote non-fiction. It's called Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions: Engaging the Mystery of Friendship Between Men and Women, by Dan J. Brennan. It's a positive discussion about non-romantic friendships between men and women--regardless of marital status. The author has self-published the book--I imagine because the subject matter may be too much of a hot-potato for most Christian publishers. But from what I've seen of it so far, it looks very well-written and professionally produced.

Roses Make Me Happy

Meredith — Tue, 25 May 2010 14:34:33 -0600

I've always loved roses. Several years ago, I discovered David Austin roses . They're also called "English roses" and I love the catalog the company puts out. Each rose has an intriguing name--"Othello," "Evelyn," "Glamis Castle," "A Shropshire Lad"--and the descriptions of the fragrance reads like a wine description:

Evelyn: Its great glory is its wonderful fragrance, which is similar in style to an Old Rose, but with a sumptuous fruity note reminiscent of fresh peaches and apricot.

Munstead Wood: There is a strong Old Rose fragrance with a fruity note. Our fragrance expert, Robert Calkin, assesses this as ‘warm and fruity with blackberry, blueberry and damson’.

Princess Alexandra of Kent: They have a delicious fresh Tea fragrance which, interestingly, changes completely to lemon as the flower ages – eventually taking on additional hints of blackcurrants.

You Can't Send Them Back!

Meredith — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 06:41:25 -0600

Really? Adoptive mom put her kid back on a plane to Russia with a "to whom it may concern" note because she didn't know what to do with him--seriously?

Gah. This is the sort of thing that gives the adoption community ulcers. First, can I just vent that the media does an incredibly sucky job of covering ANY POSITIVE adoption story? Good grief. Are there not hundreds of families who have amazing stories of hope and triumph in overcoming difficulties with their kids--adopted or not? Are the only stories worth covering the failures?

We in the adoption community have lamented that before, so this is not new, nor does it surprise me. But since I have this blog, and since I've got a book published about adoption, as well as being an adoptive mom, I'd like to just say a few things for the record:

1) I don't care WHAT your kid's problem is, you don't put him on a plane and send him back. What part of "forever family" did she not understand? Parents don't get return receipts on children. You don't get a refund. You don't get an exchange. They're not an overgrown puppy to be listed in online classifieds for a "rehoming fee" and they most certainly cannot be thrown out because they weren't what you wanted, expected, or were ready for. They are CHILDREN, and no matter what problems they end up with or how they break your heart or disappoint you, you don't abandon them. Ever. Period. End of discussion.