31
July
2006
Can I just gripe a little bit? I promise I’ll be back to my normal sunny self as soon as I’m done. But I just need to indulge my inner 7-year-old and let out a whiny “But it’s not fair!”
Two weeks ago, after we got home from the International Christian Retail Show, my youngest daughter had contracted a cold from the stay with my in-laws and my 3 nieces and 1 nephew. She was sick for a couple of days, and in turn passed it to her big sister. Big Sister proceeded to have a fever and a sore throat for a few more days, before giving the bug to Daddy.
So my husband ended up with a cough and sore throat, bad enough that he had to stay home from work last Wednesday. He spent most of the day in bed, and I did my normal routine with the kids, in addition to bringing him hot tea and cough drops and making sure he was as comfortable as possible.
By Friday, the friendly little bug had decided it was my turn to play hostess, and I was feeling absolutely miserable. My sinuses hurt, my ears hurt, I was coughing, had a runny nose, and just wanted to stay in bed and pretend I was unconscious for the whole day.
But who stays home and pampers the mom when she is sick? NOBODY, that’s who! I still had to fix lunch, keep the girls out of trouble, get my OWN cough drops and hot tea, and do dishes. Plus, I had to bring in our dogs out of 104 degree weather, and clean up a broken water glass Little Sister had broken. Then I had to get both girls packed for sleepovers and drop the first one off in the afternoon. I didn’t even get a nap!
To be fair, my husband would have gladly stayed home and pampered me to my heart’s content. But it would have meant the loss of a vacation day, and coming on the heels of his own sick day, would have not been best for his professional image. So it’s not his fault. It’s just the way the system works.
But it does seem rather unfair. If I want a sick day, I have to schedule it during the weekends. Stay-at-home moms are NOT supposed to get sick, apparently.
All together now…”AWWWW, poor thing!”
Thank you. I feel better now. Although today, Big Sister ate half a bag of my cough drops while I was taking a shower. If there was any justice at all, she’d have made herself sick from it. But she’s perfectly fine, greedy little thing. Why cough drops, though? If she’s going to snitch, why not my dark chocolate I have stashed in the pantry? Cough drops are disgusting, especially after you’ve been surviving on them for an entire weekend.
Speaking of my dark chocolate…
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Stay At Home Parents . 
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28
July
2006
I read Anita Diamant’s The Red Tent last night. As promised, here are my thoughts about it.
Yes, it was “revisionist” biblical fiction. In fact, it scarely resembled the biblical story in anything but the basic skeleton. I felt the writing was fairly strong in most parts, but the third part lacked energy and felt as if it were there merely to tie up all the loose ends. Lots of narrative summary to move things along, but it also pulled me out of the story and characters by reminding me that the narrator was only telling me a story, not living it with me. However, the community of the women displayed was compelling to me. Made me wish for a piece of that in our own culture. Yes, we have community in our way, too, but not the celebration of femaleness that was portrayed in this book. I liked that, minus the goddess worship.
And that, I believe, is the biggest complaint about this book. The fact that she portrayed the God I worship as being nothing more than a distant, male talisman that had little to do with the lives of women. But I can’t take offense at the author for that. She shaped her story according to the study and experiences that have shaped her. And the followers of the Judeo-Christian God bear much responsibility for leaving the impression that our God cares little about women.
I can understand why the idea of rewriting the stories of the Bible to include female deities and feminine experiences is so tempting. The brokenness of humanity, our own severed community between genders, has created a situation where it is impossible to imagine a God without reference to gender. And, for reasons I lack the scholarly understanding to explain, our only scriptures present this God using predominantly masculine language. There are feminine metaphors, but they are a small percentage of the whole. There are also female narratives, but they, too, are small in number. Human rebellion against this God created the situation of male power and female longing and despair. In the light of this, it’s only natural for women to want to create their own faiths and narratives.
But it doesn’t make it right or true. What Diamant’s story, and other feminist revisions do, is create further divisions between us women and our brothers. Parts of her story are quite plausible, I suppose–we don’t know for certain that Jacob’s wives shared his religious beliefs, and there are hints that perhaps they didn’t. (The portrayal of Rebecca, however, was just plain weird.) But the overriding message of the book was that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob doesn’t care about and bears no relevancy to the world of women. That in order to really experience full womanhood, one needs to basically worship one’s own sexuality and enter fully into a female world where men are on the periphery.
To me, it points to a fundamental misunderstanding about the character of God. And to be fair, it’s a misunderstanding that His followers throughout history have been primary culprits in creating. God is NOT masculine. God is NOT gendered. God is NOT male. Neither is He feminine or female. He transcends gender. He created humans in His image–and the masculine and feminine aspects of our humanity are only one small part of that reflection. They are rooted in our physical nature. God, on the other hand, transcends the physical. He created it, so it must be an aspect of Him, something that reflects Him. But when we conceive of God in terms of gender, we are remaking Him in our image, leading to worshipping ourselves.
The constraints of language force us to think in terms of gender. But I believe that as people really come to know the God of the Bible and allow Him to shape their conception of who He is, instead of shaping Him to their own biases and experiences, they will discover a God who is relevant to every part of who we are. Every experience, every narrative.
The God I know and worship is not a patriarchial God, or a matriachial one. He’s a God who understands all the intimate workings of my heart, mind, and body, and knows the brokenness of my humanity. Worshipping this God as He rightly is should bring me into community not only with my sisters but also with my brothers. This God doesn’t create divisions. It is our own humanness apart from Him that creates divisions between us. The desire of men and women to have power over each other or to prove the other’s irrelevancy creates “worlds” between us. It is not God.
What I find troubling about The Red Tent, then, is not Diamant’s supposed revisions on the biblical story of Jacob’s family. I can tell she did a vast amount of research, and that she tried very hard to incorporate the culture of the time into the story. I know she took some liberties with what many of us consider to be biblical truth. That by itself doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the message that emerges from this revisioning of the God of the Bible. The message that God is a “man’s god” and has no part to play in a woman’s life. It saddens me because I know that many women in our world today believe this to be true. It’s a belief that is reinforced by religious teaching and practices within the faith community. And, contrary to the very nature of this God, it’s a belief that divides and separates men from women, making us into idols to be, by turns, worshipped, manipulated, or conquered.
As beautiful and wonderful as I find humans to be, we are also a very broken creation, aren’t we? And I don’t see that any solution is to be found except coming to know God as He truly is and letting Him make us whole people, so that our maleness and femaleness are just one aspect of reflecting the community and relationship of the God in whose likeness we are created.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
27
July
2006
By the time I was in college, majoring in Education, I had experienced the following types of school settings: public elementary, private elementary, home schooling (middle school), private high school, and public high school. About the only thing I never did was boarding school!
My education professors quickly learned that if I was in their classes, it would not do to make sweeping generalizations about either private school or home school. They knew my hand would go up and I would provide a hard-to-refute alternative view based on personal experience. I was always polite and nice about it, but it surprised and troubled me to find out that there were so many negative stereotypes, especially about home school.
That was about 13 years ago, and a lot has changed in the perception of home schoolers. But I still notice some negative stereotypes or assumptions persist. I want to counter some of those today.
- Home schoolers lack peer socialization: I can’t believe this myth is still around! Good grief–most home school families probably have a larger peer group than kids in a classroom setting because they have different groups for different activities. I’m not active in our local home school groups, but even my kids are around their peers 4-5 times a week. I’m sure there are some kids that are unhealthily isolated, but that is definitely not the norm. And furthermore, a lot of home schooled kids have better social skills than their peers, just because they are in a setting where they get one-on-one training and practice with their parents, who have a vested interest in raising well-adapted children.
- Home schooled children are too sheltered and innocent: This was the excuse the husband of a friend of mine gave as to why they shouldn’t home school. Okay, sure, a home schooled child is probably not going to learn “playground language,” nasty jokes, or be persecuted in a locker room because of his body. She isn’t going to be teased for being smart, or for not wearing the right clothes, or have her bra strap snapped because she’s the first girl in fifth grade to wear one. Damn it! That’s such a shame. Yeah, we really shouldn’t be sheltering these poor, innocent homeschooled kids. Seriously, I don’t understand this complaint at all. Think of the pain you went through in school. Do you REALLY want your kids to suffer like that? And besides, home schooled kids may be more sheltered, but it doesn’t mean they’re helpless or gullible. They’ve got brains, confidence, and a sense of security that more than makes up for any lack of “life experience” they’ve been fortunate to have.
- Home school families are all religious fanatics. Bzzz!!! Wrong! I know lots of families who don’t home school for religious reasons at all. We don’t. We home school because we have children whose learning styles and learning needs would not be well served in a regular classroom–public or private. Believe me, if I felt that our public school would meet my girls’ needs, I’d have them enrolled in a heartbeat. Some families home school for religious reasons, but a lot don’t. And even those who do aren’t fanatics or freaks–well, not most of them. Don’t lump us all in with the few who are, please. Thanks.
- Home school kids are lazy and get a poor education. I’m hearing this one less frequently thanks to the well-publicized fact that home schooled kids tend to get so many academic scholarships and are so well represented in the National Merit Scholarship program. They typically score 20-30 points higher on college entrance exams than their peers. But still…occasionally some ignoramus spouts this one off, and I just have to say, “Who is the poorly educated one???”
- Home school families hate public schools: Well, okay…sometimes this one is true. I’ve heard a lot of parents with kids in private or home schools say a lot of nasty things about public schools. I’m sorry about that. Not all of us have a grudge about public schools. Every year, I really wish I could send my daughters to our public school. It’s a good school. It’s just not the right setting for their learning needs. But I know public school teachers–several at my church, even–and they are among the most dedicated, talented teachers I’ve ever met. I would like people to stop judging home schoolers’ motives for teaching their children at home, and I would like home schooling parents to be less judgmental of public schools. Just as there are good home school situations as well as bad ones, there are good (terrific) public schools as well as ones that need improvement. Let’s don’t judge either direction, okay?
Equally annoying are the “positive” stereotypes:
- Home school parents are more virtuous, spiritual, or dedicated to their kids. Yeah, whatever. I’m sure there are some parents who’d like you to think that, but they’re full of…well, you know. It smells. Truth is, we have good days and rotten days and in-between days just like anyone else. And some of us are home schooling because we feel it’s necessary for our children’s success, not because we want more sparkles on our halos. Lots of days, I don’t feel at all virtuous OR dedicated, and definitely not spiritual. So no pedestals, please.
- Home schooled kids are smarter and brighter than other kids. Don’t we wish! In reality, though, it’s the same sort of ability mix as the general population. Some of our children are gifted, some are mentally challenged, some have learning disabilities, some are just plain average. I think the reason that they often out-perform is more a matter of the one-on-one attention they get, and the fact that they have a teacher who is personally committed to them and knows all their strengths and weaknesses inside and out. I am an EXPERT about my children. In fact, thanks to their challenges, figuring them out has become something of a hobby for me–whether I like it or not. So I’m able to teach straight to what each of them needs in order to learn best. Of course they’re going to progress faster with that type of teaching. Few of us wouldn’t.
- Home schooled kids are good kids who never rebel, are always polite, and are hard workers. I can just hear all the home schooling parents screaming with laughter about this one! Our kids are NORMAL. Complete with tantrums, bad attitudes, rude behavior, and lack of motivation. But just like other NORMAL kids, they also have moments of such beauty and virtue, that it makes you catch your breath in wonder. (Wonder, as in wondering, “Why can’t they be like that all the time?”)
That’s all the ones I can think of. If you’ve got more, or good examples of any of these, please feel free to join Violet Voices and post your own experiences! Check out “Tell Your Story” for how to do that.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Stay At Home Parents . Email This Post
26
July
2006
I just got an email reminding me that my book club, Between the Bookends, is meeting on Saturday. That means I have from now until then to read The Red Tent. Which means I’m going to have to figure out where I (mis)placed it after buying it last month. It’s a very good thing I read quickly!
I just love this book club. Several of my friends from church and I were feeling the need to get outside our “Christian Bubble”–if you’re highly involved in the Christian community, you probably know what I mean. It’s how we tend to surround ourselves with everything related to Christianity and try to insulate ourselves from anything not “Christian.” So we have Christian friends, Christian playgroups, Christian bookstores, Christian support groups, Christian radio, Christian newspapers, and I guarantee you that when we discover a department store playing Christian music, we end up shopping there more because of it!
By the same token, we avoid places and people that might “contaminate” us. As a result, we end up creating a sub-culture for ourselves and distancing ourselves from the people in the world that God loves and wants us to love. This really bothers me. I’ve seen how I end up living in my own Bubble–not on purpose, but because it’s simpler that way.
But I want to get out of my bubble, and so did my friends. So we decided to be intentional about it. We formed a reading club whose purpose is to read a variety of novels that have a faith element in it. ANY faith. As in…not necessarily Christian.
And we decided to meet at a small, independent bookstore in Omaha called The Reading Grounds. It’s a warm, cozy, adorable little store that has a coffee bar and a pretty extensive fiction section. It also is focused on a niche that most conservative Christians would have a problem with, as you’ll see if you visit the site.
But we LOVE “our” bookstore! It’s close to my house, and I’ve made friends with the owners. They are wonderful people, and I consider it a privilege to know them. I feel good about our decision to hold our reading group there. The store staff is extremely supportive of our group and have fun helping us find new books to fit our theme each month. And we are helping to support an independent bookstore–if you know anything about the book industry, you’ll understand what an endangered species that is!
And the best thing is, I’m getting out of my Bubble. And I’m understanding on a deeper level the truth that there’s a reason God loves the whole world (not just the Christian parts of it)–it’s made up of beautiful people that He created and that He wants to bring into a friendship with Himself.
I’ve heard lots of differing points of view about The Red Tent. I’ll post my own opinions after I read it. But if you’re ever in Omaha on the last Saturday morning of the month, 10:00-11:30, stop by The Reading Grounds and say hello! And if you live in the Omaha area, come be part of our reading group!
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
25
July
2006
I’m really not the athletic type. I live a very sedentary lifestyle. I’m very comfortable sedentating right here in front of my cozy little computer, thanks very much. (And yes, I know “sedentating” isn’t a word–it’s part of my creative license as a writer to coin new words or verb any sort of word that isn’t yet a verb.) 
But the last couple of months, I’ve been *gulp* getting up at 6:30 a.m. to do a half hour or so of cardio excercise. And we recently added weight training in the evenings. My legs and my pecs are SO sore! I waddle around the house groaning, and can hardly hold the hair dryer over my head. (Okay, so it’s only like that for a day or so…don’t feel TOO bad for me.)
Am I crazy? Well, uh…maybe you’d better not answer that.
Why am I doing this? Several reasons:
- I’m in my thirties. And last I checked, gravity hadn’t suddenly started working in reverse.
- I want to look in the mirror and enjoy what I see.
- I’ve finally accepted that God gave me a body meant to have muscles. I’m never going to look like an emaciated runway model–not that I particularly want to. But I don’t want to be flabby either.
- I want to look attractive.
The biggest reason for my sudden interest in exercise, though, is because I want to set a good example for my daughters. I want them to have a mom who feels good about herself and who shows them what a healthy, active lifestyle is all about. My former ranting and moaning about how “fat” I was would have accomplished nothing but teach them that this is how a woman views her body. I know only too well how much little girls internalize from what the women in their lives say about themselves and how they treat themselves.
I want my daughters to learn to treat their bodies well, to be healthy, and not to obsess about what the culture says is the way a woman’s body should look. I want to teach them that staying in shape is important–not for the sake of being “skinny” but because their bodies are amazing, wonderful gifts from God to be used and treated with respect.
We started this sort of teaching when our oldest was a preschooler, but I realized recently that my actions will speak so much louder than all of my admonitions and lectures. I hate exercising. But for the sake of my girls, I’ll do it.
Not that I spring out of bed every morning at 6:00 a.m. bubbling over with excitement at the prospect of a 35-minute cardio workout. I actually spend about 20 minutes every morning after the alarm goes off convincing myself that I actually DO want to get up, that it really IS important, and that I really CAN do this. Most mornings, now, I win, and trundle my reluctant, sleepy self off to get ready to exercise.
I hope this all works–I really, really hope that my daughters reach adulthood with a much better self image than I had at that age. And I want it to be based on the right things–like their good choices and decisions, and who they are as ethical and moral people–and not on their weight.
Do you think we have a chance?
Off to get ready for this evening’s torture…uh, I mean, weight training session. I think it’s legs again. Already. Didn’t we just do those last week? *sigh*
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
24
July
2006
Since I want Violet Voices to be a place where people can share and read stories about stay-at-home moms and dads, I thought it would be good for me to share my own story about becoming a stay-at-home mom.
I never thought a lot about being a mom when I was growing up. It didn’t usually make my top three on my list of What I Want To Be When I Grow Up. I’m the oldest child in the family, but I didn’t have that strong mothering instinct some older sisters display. I was more just plain bossy!
But I did enjoy children, which is why I ended up going to college to become a teacher. And I always planned on probably getting married and having kids. It just wasn’t a big deal to me. In fact, my husband and I planned to wait five years before having kids at all.
Then I saw an article in Reader’s Digest about little girls in China who lived in orphanages because they had no family of their own. It broke my heart, both for the girls, but also for the families and for the country of China. What a terrible, difficult problem with no easy answer. I knew that I wanted to be part of the solution.
When we traveled to China, I was working as the supervisor in a community college learning center. I really enjoyed my job, and I was starting to get serious about pursuing a writing career as well. When we returned home with this incredible, fascinating little 15 month old who had somehow become our daughter in the short two week trip, everything changed for me.
I had to continue working to pay for the adoption because it had progressed quicker than we had expected. But I went from loving my job to dreading it. Dropping her off at my mom’s house or at my friend’s house while I went to work was so much harder than I’d ever dreamed!
And I found that I do, indeed, have a mommy heart after all–one that makes me cry when my children get vaccinations, that makes me able to speed across a room in a fraction of a second to pull them away from under a falling lamp, that creates a fury in me I didn’t know I possessed if someone mistreats or threatens them. Sometimes, I think I’ve been taken over by something else I never knew existed. I didn’t know this was what it was like to be a mom.
I had always thought that it would be best to have at least one parent at home with young children. My mom and my friend did a great job of caring for my daughter, but she needed to be bonding to her new parents, not more caregivers. It made more sense for me to give up my job than for my husband to quit his, because educators typically make less money than programmers. And I reasoned it would also give me a chance to write.
So as soon as we could afford it, I gave my notice at work. They weren’t surprised, but I did get people asking me, “Won’t you be bored?” “What will you do all day?” or the generic guilt-ridden excuse, “I think it’s great, and I wish I could do the same. But I just know I would go crazy. Besides, we can’t afford it.”
My co-workers gave me a nice send-off party, complete with a gift certificate to a local department store. I used the gift card to buy myself a different kind of work outfit–a cozy pair of knit pants and a matching top. I said it was my official “stay-at-home mom” outfit. (Funny, my fashion sense has developed significantly since then, and I wouldn’t be caught dead in that thing, home or in public!)
That first week, I had all sorts of plans. I spent time with some of my friends who were also SAHMs and I joined MOPS, and I played with my daughter and started working on a novel. I loved it. And my daughter blossomed from a somber, timid little thing into a toddler with an infectious smile and laughter and a curiosity about life that never quits.
Since then, the novelty of being a SAHM has totally worn off. I can tell you my horror stories with the best of any SAHMs. But I can also tell you this: I do not miss the corporate world. Even on my worst days at home, I wouldn’t trade it.
I don’t have a “typical” stay-at-home mom existence, to be sure. I’m a published author, freelance editor, and I have ministry positions at my church, in addition to homeschooling my two daughters. I don’t spend my whole day playing with kids, cleaning house, or cooking meals. In fact, I don’t do as much of any of those things as I probably should.
I know there are a lot of great moms who don’t stay at home. That’s every bit as legitimate a choice to make. I’m not sure I’d be so happy with being home if I didn’t have my own careers and interests. But for me and my family’s situation, this is the best arrangement. And I consider it a privilege and honor, as well as a huge responsibility, to be home with my children.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Stay At Home Parents . Email This Post
23
July
2006
Okay, time for some shameless self promotion…
I GOT INTERVIEWED! Check it out–it’s a two-parter on Portrait of a Writer…Interrupted, blog of writer and homeschooling mom extraordinaire, Gina Conroy. Here’s a snippet I especially like:
Do you think it’s possible to give yourself fully to raising children, home schooling, writing, keeping in shape, cooking balanced meals, cleaning house, etc.? In my life I don’t feel I can give all these areas 100%. Is it possible or should I stop striving to “do it all†and just do what I can and not feel guilty about it?
NO, IT’S NOT POSSIBLE!!!! You can not do it all. It’s a big fat lie!!! (Just like “healthy†snack cookies or “all natural†hot dogs!)
You have to prioritize. You have to look long and hard at the hours God grants you every day and choose how you will spend those hours. And you have to face the fact that for every thing you choose to make a priority, there will be something else that seems equally worthy or urgent that you will have to sacrifice. There are consequences to those decisions, too. You have to be willing to live with those consequences. But do it consciously. Don’t just let life happen. Choose what you do with it and take responsibility for your choices.
Boy, don’t I sound all confident and expert-y! *shaking my head* If only they knew…
Anyway, it was a fun interview, and Gina asked me some really interesting questions. And while you’re over there, read up on the rest of the blog, too. She’s got a lot of great posts that are applicable to any homeschooling parent or parent working from home with kids in the house.
Thanks, Gina!
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Stay At Home Parents . Email This Post
23
July
2006
I just found this terrific blog about an American woman named Pam who lives in China with her Chinese adopted daughter and her husband of 20-some years. She teaches English at a nursing college in Henan Province.
I’m a little envious–I’d love to go back to China, especially if it was for the purpose of doing another adoption. But it’s not our time yet, I guess. It was fun to read through Pam’s posts this evening and experience China vicariously for a few minutes. I really admire her and her family–it was hard enough for my husband and I to live in a different culture for two weeks. They’re doing it full-time.
Many blessings, Pam!
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: International Adoption . Email This Post
22
July
2006
Okay, I think this is the final post on responding to Camy’s post from a week ago. I’m sure she had no idea she’d hit one of my hot buttons. The question is, from a Biblical viewpoint, why does it seem that Satan has a special hatred for women, based on the history of violence and oppression women have suffered? My response continues here:
When the first female was deceived about who God was and chose to rebel, and when the first male stood by and willingly participated in that rebellion, their perfect community and partnership was shattered. In the male’s attempt to justify himself, after God calls them into accountability, he blames the female. That’s the first sign in the Genesis chapter 3 story that their relationship has been forever altered. He went from singing her praises in chapter 2 to disparaging her to their Creator in chapter 3.
A lot of people refer to the consequences of this rebellion describe in Genesis chapter 3 as the “curses” that God placed on men and women. Read carefully–God never did actually curse either one. He cursed the serpent and the ground. In fact, the phrasing of His words to the woman are actually not a punishment or a curse at all. What is usually translated “I will” (as in “I will put enmity between you and the woman”) can also be translated “there will be.” I believe God is simply stating what is going to happen because of this terrible rebellion.
In Genesis 3, verse 16, God is warning the woman of what the consequences will be because of what has happened. Because the community between the man and woman has been destroyed, the woman is now in a vulnerable state. The man will seize power and rule over her, and yet she will long for the oneness they used to share. This combination will prove to be devestating to her.
Additionally, God states that there will be a particular enmity between the woman and the serpent (who represents Satan in the story). Considering that most Bible scholars interpret verse 15, the seed of woman that will crush the serpent’s head, to be a reference to the Messiah, God is actually giving the woman a lead role in the salvation of the world. If you believe in the virgin birth of Jesus, verse 15 is even more significant because at the time Genesis was written, women were not believed to even have “seed.” They were seen as the fertile ground that the man’s seed was sown in. But here God specifically says that the One who would crush the serpent would come from the seed of the woman–no reference at all to the man.
Now, imagine that you are the man or the serpent, standing there listening to God dole out these judgments. He’s just cursed the serpent. And pretty soon, He is telling the man “because of YOU, I’m cursing the ground, so good luck on that potato crop this year.” But no word of a curse to the woman. In fact, He’s giving her a pretty nifty promise, and seems to be telling her, “Unfortunately, these other two yahoos are going to make your life damn miserable, so watch out.”
THAT seems to me to be a much more compelling reason from the Bible story as to why the history of women is so tragic. Jesus Christ was born of a woman. The promise of the salvation of humanity was given first to a woman. The One who will ultimately destroy Satan revealed Himself in the seed of a woman. You think that might be enough reason for Satan to have some extra malevolence toward that particular gender? And why the male was only too willing to go along with mistreating and oppressing his mate? I very much doubt the woman’s beauty had anything to do with it. It goes so much deeper than that.
Now this is my explanation based on the Biblical account in Genesis. I’m not saying I necessarily take this as a literal event, though it could well be. It could also be a story based in the folk memory of the ancient Israelite culture. But I believe that the Bible’s stories are there for a reason, to present us with truths that go beyond mere historicity. And the truth is that humanity’s rejection of God destroyed our community with each other, and that is what has precipitated the horrific abuses and oppression people have heaped on each other. Thankfully, God become a human and provided a way to repair that rift between us and Him, and us and each other. But that’s a post for another time, I suppose.
Here is an additional article about the Genesis story of creation. I draw much of my understanding of this Bible story from the same writings of Katharine Bushnell mentioned in the article.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
21
July
2006
Yesterday, I began a response to my friend Camy’s post about the book Captivating.I’m continuing it today with my thoughts about why the history of women has been filled with such violence and oppression.
Camy remarked:
I don’t know if I buy that Satan goes after women more than men, but I also don’t know any statistics. And because of how women have been abused throughout history, I can kind of believe that maybe women are targeted by Satan more.
I think it’s fair to both question and reflect on this. I found the following site to have a wealth of historical information relating to women’s history and the oppression women of various times and cultures have faced: Internet Women’s History Sourcebook You can also find out specific stats for different kinds of abuse and oppression at sites concerning domestic violence or other types of abuse. Here is another great set of articles about violence against women.
In the majority of world cultures, women have been in a position of having less power and often of being in subjection to men in some way or another. Scholars will point to factors such as a relative disparity in physical power compared to men, or the fact that women are “burdened” with the role of child-bearing, which allows men to subjugate them. And to a large extent, I would have to agree with that assessment.
I LOVE my kids, for certain, but pregnancy definitely slowed me down a bit, as did nursing and caring for a newborn. It took a toll on my body and my emotions and energy level. I’m in awe of new moms who seem to pick up right where they left off and keep on going.
But I treasure very much the privelege it is to be a mother and to nurture life. And, as a follower of Jesus and someone who believes the Bible has something to say to me, I think the dismal history of women is due to something much greater than simply our reproductive functions.
The first male and female were both created in the image of God, according to Genesis 2. They were created as perfectly corresponding partners, patterned after the community of the Godhead (meaning the three-in-one image of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, also known as the Trinity). They were ONE, in every sense of the term.
Of course, we know something went terribly wrong with that scenario. Few of us experience that sort of oneness now, with anyone.
But I will have to finish this story tomorrow, so my post doesn’t become too long.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
