Comments on: Do we protect our kids too much? http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/05/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/ Stories of extraordinary every-day women, stay-at-home moms (SAHMs), and adoptive parents. Sun, 23 Nov 2008 11:59:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Katherine http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/05/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-143 Katherine Mon, 07 Aug 2006 04:23:23 +0000 http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/04/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-143 Thanks for your insight into such a volatile subject. I read Mary's article, as well as the link Ann V. left, and left a comment there, too. Incredible. We homeschooled early on, but with the intention of putting our kids in school later. So far this has worked very well. They've had a chance to make mistakes (very hard to watch!) and flounder a bit, but we've been there to supervise and guide. I think this is so much harder as a parent to do than to control my children's every possible interaction. At times it has been very humbling. But we are determined to trudge through together. God has been faithful. Thanks for bringing this up. I've been here before but I'm glad I found you again through momrn's site. Thanks for your insight into such a volatile subject. I read Mary’s article, as well as the link Ann V. left, and left a comment there, too. Incredible.

We homeschooled early on, but with the intention of putting our kids in school later. So far this has worked very well. They’ve had a chance to make mistakes (very hard to watch!) and flounder a bit, but we’ve been there to supervise and guide. I think this is so much harder as a parent to do than to control my children’s every possible interaction. At times it has been very humbling. But we are determined to trudge through together. God has been faithful.

Thanks for bringing this up. I’ve been here before but I’m glad I found you again through momrn’s site.

]]> By: Meredith Efken http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/05/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-139 Meredith Efken Sun, 06 Aug 2006 21:07:55 +0000 http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/04/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-139 Thanks for stopping over, Keziah! I hope you were able to read Mary's original article, too. It's an issue a lot of us are struggling with. We are facing situations with our kids that our parents never had to deal with. It's really hard sometimes to know what to do. But I believe that God will freely give us wisdom when we ask. Many blessings on you and your family--your kids are lucky to have a mom who thinks about these sort of things. :) Thanks for stopping over, Keziah! I hope you were able to read Mary’s original article, too. It’s an issue a lot of us are struggling with. We are facing situations with our kids that our parents never had to deal with. It’s really hard sometimes to know what to do. But I believe that God will freely give us wisdom when we ask. Many blessings on you and your family–your kids are lucky to have a mom who thinks about these sort of things. :)

]]> By: Keziah http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/05/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-138 Keziah Sun, 06 Aug 2006 20:39:56 +0000 http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/04/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-138 I'm visiting from A Quiet Corner, but I am so glad to have found your site. Thank you for this article. We were talking about how to bring up children with a strong Christian faith in a secular school system and society. This article will give us something to think and talk about. Look forward to reading more from you here. I’m visiting from A Quiet Corner, but I am so glad to have found your site. Thank you for this article. We were talking about how to bring up children with a strong Christian faith in a secular school system and society. This article will give us something to think and talk about. Look forward to reading more from you here.

]]> By: Meredith Efken http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/05/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-137 Meredith Efken Sat, 05 Aug 2006 23:05:01 +0000 http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/04/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-137 One other thing--I think it's also a matter of degrees. You don't just toss your kid into the ocean and hope he survives. But I think it does mean being intentional about exposing them to the bigger world in stages and making sure that you are there and available to be a guide at each level. One other thing–I think it’s also a matter of degrees. You don’t just toss your kid into the ocean and hope he survives. But I think it does mean being intentional about exposing them to the bigger world in stages and making sure that you are there and available to be a guide at each level.

]]> By: Meredith Efken http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/05/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-136 Meredith Efken Sat, 05 Aug 2006 23:02:55 +0000 http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/04/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-136 That's a valid point, Gina. I suppose it depends on what sort of thing is considered a "life preserver." For me, it wouldn't necessarily be to prevent his contact with those negative influences, at least not at first. I'd probably try engaging him in a conversation, to find out what HE is thinking about his neighborhood friends. Ask him what he likes about them. What is it about their behavior that appeals to him? I'd try to avoid lecturing him, of course, but maybe try asking him some leading questions to get him to think about what the possible consequences might be if he follows their path. Get him to think about what is motivating him to be a follower instead of a leader. Then you can help him work through those root issues and use it as a growing experience instead of trying to keep him from the experience entirely. It makes him a partner in the growing up process instead of a subject to it. My parents did this to one degree or another during my teen years, and the result was open lines of communication between me and them, and less rebellion from me because I never felt like they were being heavy-handed in the boundaries they set. I was still sheltered, but it wasn't to the degree of some of my friends, and it wasn't in a way that provoked me to run the opposite direction when I got the chance. That’s a valid point, Gina. I suppose it depends on what sort of thing is considered a “life preserver.” For me, it wouldn’t necessarily be to prevent his contact with those negative influences, at least not at first. I’d probably try engaging him in a conversation, to find out what HE is thinking about his neighborhood friends. Ask him what he likes about them. What is it about their behavior that appeals to him? I’d try to avoid lecturing him, of course, but maybe try asking him some leading questions to get him to think about what the possible consequences might be if he follows their path. Get him to think about what is motivating him to be a follower instead of a leader. Then you can help him work through those root issues and use it as a growing experience instead of trying to keep him from the experience entirely. It makes him a partner in the growing up process instead of a subject to it.

My parents did this to one degree or another during my teen years, and the result was open lines of communication between me and them, and less rebellion from me because I never felt like they were being heavy-handed in the boundaries they set. I was still sheltered, but it wasn’t to the degree of some of my friends, and it wasn’t in a way that provoked me to run the opposite direction when I got the chance.

]]> By: Gina http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/05/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-135 Gina Sat, 05 Aug 2006 22:49:46 +0000 http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/04/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-135 I just left this comment on Mary's blog and thought I'd throw it out here for discussion. Definitely something to ponder as I homeschool and "shelter" my children. But I like to think of it more as protecting my children's innocence. Each family has to decide when their child is able to move out of shallow water to the deeper ocean. My 12 year old son isn't ready for deep water yet, and isn't all that sheltered between our unbelieving family and friends. In fact, his neighborhood friends seem to be bringing him down a bit. (Though his faith has been able to shine as well) So what do I do, let him continue on this negative path, or throw him a life perserver? I just left this comment on Mary’s blog and thought I’d throw it out here for discussion.

Definitely something to ponder as I homeschool and “shelter” my children. But I like to think of it more as protecting my children’s innocence. Each family has to decide when their child is able to move out of shallow water to the deeper ocean.

My 12 year old son isn’t ready for deep water yet, and isn’t all that sheltered between our unbelieving family and friends. In fact, his neighborhood friends seem to be bringing him down a bit. (Though his faith has been able to shine as well) So what do I do, let him continue on this negative path, or throw him a life perserver?

]]> By: crygibb http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/05/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-134 crygibb Sat, 05 Aug 2006 20:28:23 +0000 http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/04/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-134 I agree with you, its good for our children to exercise their faith. I agree with you, its good for our children to exercise their faith.

]]> By: momrn2 http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/05/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-130 momrn2 Sat, 05 Aug 2006 17:30:24 +0000 http://meredithefken.com/blog/2006/08/04/all-about-parenting/do-we-protect-our-kids-too-much/#comment-130 Once again, Welcome! I'm so glad you are joining in with us! Thanks for your kind words in the comments of "My Quiet Corner"! That meant the world to me! And thanks for adding your link. Guess you can expect even more traffic?! :-) Once again, Welcome! I’m so glad you are joining in with us! Thanks for your kind words in the comments of “My Quiet Corner”! That meant the world to me! And thanks for adding your link. Guess you can expect even more traffic?! :-)

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