Violet Voices

You have something to say!1 Comment. Be next.

I started this blog to give other people a chance to tell their stories, share their experiences, and let their voices be heard. It’s so fun to now have 3-4 “Violet Voices” participating on this blog. I encourage you to check out their posts by clicking on their names under the “author” section on the right.

But as much as I appreciate the voices we already have, I’d LOVE to have more. You have something to share. So why not register (on the right under the Meta section) and be part of this blog? See all the particulars on the right by clicking on “Tell Your Story” under the Pages section.

This would be especially great for those of you who don’t want to maintain your own blog, or like Gina, who reposts older posts from her own blogs. If you are trying to decide whether or not to have your own blog, guest blogging is an easy way to try it out.

Be a Voice!

Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: International Adoption, On Being a Parent, Stay At Home Parents, Women's Voices .  Email This Post

Hopelessly a Mom1 Comment. Be next.

Okay, so I’m dropping my husband off at a church function. He gets out of the car, goes around to my side, and I roll the window down for a goodbye kiss. In front of several other men, I give my sweetie a kiss and clearly tell him,

“You be good, now, okay?”

The smirks on the other guys’ faces made me realize what I said, and I tried to back pedal. But boy, some of those mom-phrases just get so ingrained! Luckily, my husband has a terrific sense of humor as well as a keen sense of when to tease me and when to get the focus off me. He smiled, gave me another kiss, and promised to be good. Then he hurried off to let me escape without further humiliation.

What a GOOD guy!

Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: On Being a Parent .  Email This Post

Just Makes Me Wonder1 Comment. Be next.

The doors swung open, and I stepped through the red velvet curtain. A gentleman dressed in a red knee length suit jacket greeted me with a smile and handed me a paper. As I walked down the plush red carpet, dark silhouettes assaulted me with bright flashing lights. I stepped into the smoke filled room, momentarily blinded by the flashing bulbs and fog. The smell of buttered popcorn and espresso wafted through the air. When my eyes adjusted to the scene, I almost gasped out loud. I wished the smoke hadn’t cleared so quickly.

Dorothy, with Toto (a real live dog) in hand, smiled us. Beside her, the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion, waved. To the right, a giant mechanical elephant and jungle man greeted us. Further up ahead, CDs, books and t-shirts were available for purchase.

I had to blink twice to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I’m really glad I didn’t pinch myself because it wasn’t a dream. It was Sunday morning church.

I’ve mentioned before how after 12 years at our church we felt the prompting to find a new church home. We settled at a hip church for about a year, but after a pastoral turnover felt it just wasn’t the right place for us anymore.

On our quest to find a new church home we’ve run the gambit, attending a tradition denominational church, to what I call a “condemning” church where the whole time your repenting from what an evil sinner you are. Then there was the “African” church, the “radical missions” church, the “laid back flip flop wearing pastor” church, the “mega” church, the “conservative” church, etc, etc.

While we enjoyed certain aspects of all these churches, they just didn’t seem to be the right fit. Still we haven’t ruled out all of them for the simple reason that we attended most of these churches during a special program.

Case in point. The church we attended on Sunday. Their theme was “At The Movies.” Now, I have nothing against having fun in church, but when it seems to come before everything else, that bugs me. The praise and worship seemed more like a rock concert, and I had trouble worshipping. The service, though entertaining, was obviously seeker friendly. I came for meat and got a milkshake.

Now I know churches like this have their place. In today’s society sometimes you need the bells and whistles just to get people through the door. Still I couldn’t help thinking about Jesus when he overturned the merchant tables in the Temple. He said, “How dare you turn my Father’s house into a market!” (John 2:16. For full context go here.)

I just couldn’t help thinking that if in an attempt to make church more fun and attractive, maybe we’re trying to sell Christianity. If Jesus walked into some of these churches would he pull up a seat or start overturning tables? It just makes me wonder.

Think about it. Jesus wasn’t popular. He wasn’t attractive. He didn’t have a mega church with the latest audio visual equipment. Kids didn’t have jupiter jumps and arcades in their church service. His sermons had no bells or whistles (except miracles :)), but what he had was the truth.

Like I said, I like to have fun in church and fun has its place. But when we place that above really connecting with God, it just makes me wonder…

Written By: Gina
Posted under: Women's Voices .  Email This Post

Moms Making a Difference1 Comment. Be next.

School’s back in session, and the house is oddly quiet. It’s time I got back to my works-in-progress, my newest endeavor, From the Dust of Rose Hill. As I sat down in front of my laptop today, thoughts began flooding my mind of how to approach this new work. I opened an email from Diane, one of the blessings of friendship I have encountered in my first months of becoming a Stay-At-Home-Mom. A wonderful and enlightening conversation followed that, had I been anywhere else in the world at this moment on a traditional job, would not or in all liklihood could not have occurred.

Diane is an encourager. Her words and thoughts over at Partners in Prayer for our Prodigals will bless you and enrich your life as she chronicles the blessings and struggles of parenting a wayward son. In the months that followed our meeting, I have come to realize that God in his infinite wisdom has placed her in my path for specific reasons. But not only her, a plethora of wonderful moms, all beautiful and funny and engaging in their own special ways. This is the joy of the internet, my friends. The fact that we can share our lives — however far apart we may be — and lift up one another is an incredible miracle to me.

You see, being a stay-at-home-mom is sometimes a lonely job. Not being out in the corporate world has its perks, but you lose a lot of that day-to-day interaction that keeps one sane. It helps to be able to log on and find moms who are experiencing the same things you are experiencing day by day. It helps to have a shoulder to cry on, a friend to rejoice with, a partner in prayer. If you think I’m wrong about this, visit some of these wonderful ladies’ blogs and see how much prayer goes on. In a day and age where it is being banned in public places right and left, it is an awesome feeling to know that the world cannot stop prayer from continuing. There is a band of believers and moms silently — and sometimes not so silently, making their way around the world, holding each other up — holding each other’s families and children up to God. Once God puts something in motion, you can’t stop it. Your words are a powerful thing, mothers. At the risk of sounding preachy, let’s remember that as we interact here. I want to make a difference. Don’t you?

Written By: Cynthia
Posted under: Stay At Home Parents .  Email This Post

Revolution Within2 Comments. Your turn!

I’ve started on a spiritual journey that has me intrigued and excited. Revolution Within and the companion workbook Experience Christ Within by Dwight Edwards is a fresh look at God’s covenant with his people. I’ve only completed the first chapter which was very indepth and time consuming with tons of scripture references to look up, but the good thing is I’m doing this study on my own and there’s no group deadline. So I can take my time to really absorb these principles.

To sum it up I’ll quote from the workbook:

“In the Old Covenant (the law), God’s people were instructed with the repeated words, ‘You shall…’ and ‘You shall not…’

But in the New Covenant, the watchword is no longer ‘You shall,’ but God’s ‘I will’:

‘I will put My law in their minds…and I will be their God…I will forgive their iniquity’; ‘I will cleanse you…I will give you a new heart…I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statues.’ (Jeremiah 31:33-34; Ezekiel 36:25-27)

Nothing is more fundamental to understanding and appreciating the difference between the two covenants than these two phrases.”

Did you get what the scripture is saying? For Choleric Meloncholies like me it has been the beginning of my freeing from doing, striving, trying to be perfect and right. What the new covenant says to me is that I don’t have to strive to be perfect. I can’t be perfect, that’s what the old covenant, the law, has shown us. I can’t do it, so God must! And he did by sending us Jesus.

In the old covenant we are told that obedience is our righteousness.(Deut. 5:28-33; 6:1-9,17-19, 24-25; 8:1-20, 11:8-21) In the new covenant Christ is the end of the law so there might be righteousness for those who believe. (Matthew 5:17-18; Romans 8:3-4, 10:4)

I’m just beginning to grasp the truth of this.

One of the other reasons I’m excited about this study is because it relates to my momlit I’m brainstorming. I’m beginning to realize my character is living under the old law of striving to do what’s right, but she’s failing miserably. She is easily swayed by other people’s advice, yet forgets to turn to God for the answers. She doesn’t trust herself to hear the voice of God, so she resorts to living under the old law.

I’m excited to see where all this leads…for me and my character.

Written By: Gina
Posted under: Women's Voices .  Email This Post

Thoughts about camping, And a Funny Song3 Comments. Your turn!

My husband went camping with some guys from church last night. Camping seems to bring out some very strange things in otherwise-reasonable men.

Consider my husband…he has this fascination for seeing just how far he can “rough it.” I don’t think he’s trying to prove his masculinity or anything, but it’s like a game to him. He calls it “ultra-light backpacking.” I called it “ultra-pointless suffering.” His tent, (the link isn’t his tent, but it shows what kind of tent he made) for example, is made up of a regular tarp, a paint drop cloth, a pole, and 4 tent stakes. I asked, “Why don’t you just get a backpacking pup tent?”

Well, OBVIOUSLY…the lightest weight pup tent is FOUR pounds. The tarp/dropcloth/pole contraption is only TWO pounds! And you can use the pole as a walking stick!

(Why didn’t I think of that?)

The “door” of this tent is just where the two ends of the tarp hang together. I asked him how he’s going to keep out mosquitoes. He didn’t know. But if it ended up being too bad, he figured he could get some mosquito netting and duck tape it to the tarp.

Ah yes. That really is much simpler than just GETTING A REAL TENT!

His entire campsite, including a pocket-size stove, fit into a school backpack. Except for the pole and an egg-crate bedroll. (He decided to indulge in the luxury of a bedroll…just so the other guys wouldn’t feel like total wimps, I guess.)

I actually DO like to tent-camp. But my philosophy about tenting is the polar opposite of my darling, adorable, beloved DH. I like the challenge of being out in the open, in the rugged expanse of nature…recreating as closely as possible the comforts of my own house.

I admit, I’m hopelessly fascinated by camping gadgets. We have battery operated fans, a submersible pump hooked to a shower head, magnetic ceiling lights for the tent, and the thing I really want next…an outdoor OVEN! Our cabin tent is a three-room, 10×20 ft. palace, and we’ve even added a potty/shower shack and a dining awning. It’s not that I can’t rough it, or don’t like to. I just like the gadgets!

So I’m glad that my sweetie got the chance to go camping HIS style. I think it’s interesting that for both of us, camping is sort of a game. We just have different objectives and rules to follow.

Also, as a follow-up to my post on Thursday about not being controlled by fear, I want to submit to you a satirical song called “Duct Tape” that I thought was absolutely hysterical. The link was posted on a discussion forum I like to hang out at, and other than that, I have no other information about it. But I thought it would be appropriate to insert in this post about camping, since my husband views duct tape as an answer to the problem of mosquitoes. Enjoy!

Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices .  Email This Post

Life’s Distractions2 Comments. Your turn!

So many things distract us from our true calling in life. It’s an easy way for the enemy to keep us headed down the wrong path, the path which though seemingly innocent doesn’t line up with the purpose God has designed us for.

Take for example my recent attempt to sell on ebay. I figured I was a great buyer, so why not try selling? Well, though gifted in buying, it seems I should leave the selling to others. Not only did it rob me of 9 precious hours to list 12 items, I think I lost money on the deal. I guess I’ll stick to buying and donate more to goodwill.

Many things in my life, though good, may not be right for me at the time. I’m still trying to figure out what the RIGHT thing is right now. I have so many interests and hobbies that I usually spread myself too thin. I’m trying to learn balance in all areas.

And then there’s blogging? Talk about a distraction! I admit I’ve been on the computer way too much this summer, and it’s gotten out of balance. I know I need to check my email a couple times a day, not a couple dozen, because when I do I get sucked into cyberspace and my kids end of watching too much television.

So how do you handle life’s distractions? The “have to dos” and “want to dos” of life that keep you from the “meant to dos?”

Written By: Gina
Posted under: Women's Voices .  Email This Post

Keeping Today’s Terror Threats In Perspective6 Comments. Your turn!

I’m a mom. It’s part of the job description to worry about and try to protect my kids. I don’t like waking up to news of terrorist plots to blow up airplanes. As an author and speaker, I am the one most likely in our family to have to fly somewhere. I have grown used to the little voice in my heart that, during the moment of final hugs and kisses at the airport drop off curb, wonders, “Is this goodbye for ever?”

But I also get angry at the way our media, our government, and even at times our churches do their level best to cultivate and enhance those normal fears. We have become a fear-driven society. Just turn on the television today and watch the talking heads. What are they focusing on? Are they praising the police and security officials whose investigative skills uncovered this alleged plot? Or are they focusing on the “what might have been” of “mass murder on an unimaginable scale”?

What is the point of cultivating this sort of fear? Could it be that the more we are paralyzed by fear, the less we question the atrocities carried out in the name of that fear? Are we being controlled and manipulated, cowed into silence by the fear of possible disaster?

I think this is especially pertinent to those of us who claim to be followers of Christ. Our Bible says, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” Where is our love? Where is our faith? If God has given us the power to not be controlled by fear, the power to love and to face life with reason and thoughtful choices, WHY are we letting the daily disasters and near-tragedies overwhelm us?

Part of me wonders how real this plot was. There has been so much propaganda, so much spin, so many times of crying wolf, it’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t. But regardless of what the truth is, I know that my God is in control and that He loves His creation. He loves everyone–terrorists, politicians, soldiers, people on airplanes, and my family safe at home.

I don’t need to live in fear or make decisions based on the fears of others around me. I don’t need the government to “keep me safe”–though I appreciate sincere efforts to do so. My life and the lives of those I love are in the hands of God. None of us will live a second longer than He plans, and none of us will die in a way that has not been appointed by Him. He is my security, He is my hope.

So I’m going to keep the TV and its cacophany of nervous, jittery talking heads turned off. I’m going to go shopping. I’m going to buy plane tickets for my next writers conference. I’m going to support politicians who are committed to pursuing peace and justice for the defenseless. I’m going to shout to whoever I can that the best security measures our country has are those that involve building cooperative relationships with the rest of the world and walking in humility and an attitude of service to others, like Jesus did. I’m going to encourage myself and my children to learn to see the world through the other guy’s eyes, to walk in her shoes awhile instead of pointing fingers and acting in self-preservation. To listen, to think, to learn. To reflect and not be hasty. This is my responsibility as a woman, as a writer, and as a mother.

I found an essay written about a month ago by a Catholic woman, a nun. I think, in light of the events that we’ll be having shoved down our throats for the next week or so, her observations and insight are especially appropriate. In her essay, “What Else Could We Possibly Have Done?” she writes:

And here, in the United States, paranoia grips the land. The Constitution is being shredded one line at a time. We are facing a decade-long moratorium on social issues, because all our money is going into war against whom we don’t know and where we’re not sure. In the meantime, the richest country in the world cannot have universal medical insurance, day care services, subsidized housing or welfare programs, and the army is where the young go to get an education. If they make it back in any condition to go to school.

No, the world did not change after 9/11. We did.

The question is , what else could we possibly have done? Is there any kind of response that would have been more effective than what we did? And if so, why aren’t we doing it?

This is the type of reason and reflection and soul-searching that is the perfect antidote to fear. My guess is that Joan Chittister is not sitting glued to her television today, letting the voices of our culture carve out an ulcer in her stomach. Hers is the sort of woman’s voice of which we need to hear more.

Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices .  Email This Post

A novel…meme?12 Comments. Your turn!

I’m a new blogger…we’re talking totally green here. But I just found out about “blog tag” and want to try it. I feel soooo unworthy. But I’m going to give it a go anyway. *big, nervous gulp*

A Novel Idea:

If you could write a novel about any subject, what would it be? (Just the subject–don’t give away your plot idea!)

Or, if just the thought of having to write anything gives you hives, what would you like to read about in a novel that you’ve never seen done before?

Or if you hate reading fiction (you can get counseling for that, you know), what subject might make you change your mind or try it anyway?

Now, here’s the rules–if you get tagged (or if you just want to play anyway), you should

1. Answer one of these questions on your blog,
2. Link back to whoever tagged you (or wherever you found the idea)
3. Tag 5 (or so) other bloggers.
4. Plus, check out previous responses, and if you know of a novel that pertains to the subject someone wishes they could write or would like to read about, suggest the novel to them in a comment.

One more thing–to make it fit within one of my blog categories (Women’s Voices) , women bloggers only. Sorry guys, catch you next time!

Here’s my answer:

I DO write novels, and love to read. But one subject I wish I could write about is the contemporary life of Native Americans. I see so many historicals with tribal people as characters, but I don’t see very many that show their lives today. I’d like to see their contributions to our current society celebrated and recorded in our literature. I’m sure such novels exist, but I’d like to see some make it big as a commercial bestseller. I wish I could write it, but I’m so unconnected to that culture and tradition, I’m not sure I could do it justice. But I’d like to see them have more of a voice.

I’m Tagging…

Camy (because she’s a novelist and a great blogger, and a terrific friend)

MomRN2 (because she’s a great friend and I know she’ll play)

Gina (writer, terrific blogger, and fellow Violet Voice)

Sharon (because she’s a novelist and just got new publicity photos done, which look FABULOUS, so you all have to go tell her how great she looks in makeup!)

Cynthia (also a fellow Violet Voice and writer who has a great blog of her own)

Jill (because I can tag more than 5 people if I want to, and because she’s a WAHM, and writer, who just redid her blog and it looks terrific!)

Okay, gals…you’re IT! (Please play…purty please!) *batting my ridiculously invisible eyelashes at you*

Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices .  Email This Post

Snow White Has Got To GO!8 Comments. Your turn!

I just can’t take it anymore! If I have to hear that squeaky, ultra-girly voice sing “I’m Wishing” one more time, I’M GOING TO HURL!

And it’s not just the annoying voice or the insipid little songs that has my panties in a wad. It’s the messages my girls are absorbing from this antiquated bit of animation history.

Okay, I’m cool with the obsession my five year old has with Princesses right now. It’s fairly normal. And to be fair, it’s partly my own fault because I’ve let them basically spend the entire summer watching movies and playing dress-up because I’m trying to get my life organized for this fall–school, writing, editing, etc.

But when my 8 year old comes and tells me, “I just can’t wait until I can go on dates and have a boyfriend,” and when my 5 year old is swooning around the house singing about how “someday her prince will come”–I just want to shout ENOUGH ALREADY!

It’s not that I have a problem with romantic fantasies. I’m really quite the romantic at heart. I love the idea of my girls someday falling in love and getting married to amazing, caring, loving guys.

But lately, it seems like they’re obsessing about it. And the one message I do NOT want them absorbing from all these “princess movies” is that life for a woman is all about finding and getting the “man of your dreams.”

Snow White is especially obnoxious about this. She is probably the most passive female character in any movie I’ve seen in a long time. She’s a victim. The story happens TO her. She has no real say in any of it. And the message I feel like my girls are getting is that their aspiration in life should be to wait for a Prince to show up and rescue them from the evil females in their lives with their poison apples. And in the meantime, a REAL princess will be thrilled to spend her time cooking and cleaning for dirty little old men who are suspicious of all females and their “wicked wiles.” SHEESH!

I guess I need to go on a hunt for some movies with better messages for my girls. Disney animations are pretty much out, because it seems like even the newer ones–with their much stronger, independent heroines–are still portraying the ultimate Goal of Life to be to find a man, preferrably a prince while you’re at it. Or they feature male characters who go on grand adventures where a female isn’t really much of a necessity.

Let’s see…Veggie Tales? I love them, but really, what sort of female role models are put forward in this series? The newest female character, Petunia, is getting more screen time than other female veggies, but she’s still just an accessory to whatever Hero Larry is playing in that particular story. A pretty, somewhat helpless, dependent accessory.

Princess Diaries…my girls love them. They’re a little better. Still focused on romance, despite the sequel’s “I can be a queen without a husband” theme.

Other movies with female leads they like–Anne of Green Gables, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility–Anne is more spunky, but all three have a pretty heavy “and they fell in love and lived happily ever after” theme to them.

They have other movies they enjoy as well, but those don’t have primarily female lead characters. Why is it that movies centering around females are mostly romances to some extent or another? What movies can I show my girls that promote healthy, strong, moral, courageous women or girls who have a purpose and goal in life that is related to their own talents, abilities, or God-given calling?

Again, I’m not opposed to romance. Some of the movies I’ve listed are among my favorites. But it just seems like that message is the only one my girls are getting from what they’re watching. There’s got to be some broader options.

Any suggestions?

Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: On Being a Parent, Women's Voices .  Email This Post