October
2006
Journals
By Vasthi Acosta
Cleaning out the coat closet I found a box. In the box I found old journals. Mine. I’ve been keeeping a journal since high school, now decades ago. I slipped the box to a corner and kept cleaning the closet. But the box called to me.
What had I written?
What were my thoughts, so long ago?
Who was I then?
Had I changed, as I believed, or was I still the same?
Would I recognize myself?
You know I had to find out. You know, I sat with the box, pulled out the notebooks and opened randomly to different entries.
Faced with my past self, I was pleased, embarrassed, amused, stirred and moved.
Pleased that I’d kept this record of my life, even if only, to experience that moment, right then, when I revisited myself.
Embarrassed that I’d had such silly worries, as, did this young man like me or not. I married him.
Amused at some incidents I recounted, ice skating mishaps, extravagant gifts from admirers.
Stirred that I’d often written prayers. Prayers to a God I still love, seek to please and serve.
Moved when I relived painful times, the death of a friend, the failed attempts to conceive, the misunderstandings, fights, even deep hurts.
These entries were a gift from my young self to my older self. A gift I never anticipated, or planned, but received nonetheless.
What I couldn’t even suppose, so many years ago, my loving God knew. He knew this moment would arrive. he knew I’d learn from my younger self. For he knows the end from the beginning. After all, he is the Alpha and Omega.
So today, as you go about your daily routine, remember, every choice you make has an impact on your future. Let God lead. He won’t steer you wrong.
The Journals by Violet Voices, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Written By: Vasthi Acosta
Posted under: Women's Voices . 
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Truly enjoyed that. I liked especially how the “now self” was doing something the young self would not have considered doing. What a reward for a mundane task you chose to do!
How wonderful it would be for your daughter to read about her mom and her dad coming together, from her mom’s point of view.
This post reminded me of something I wrote two years ago about journals. I think I may have Meredith post it.
Vasthi,
I think I’ll go home and unlock a little box that contains letters from my friends when I was a teenager. (Many from our Youth Group went off to Minnesota to a Christian High School; and so, we wrote many letters).
One sign of an effective message is that it causes people to act! Your message reminds me of two things. First, is that box of letters (since I wasn’t as diligent to keep a journal). Second, is a record of my prayers during one of the most difficult times of my life. The only reason they are written down is because things were so difficult that I couldn’t concentrate to pray….so I had to write it down. You’re correct; it is very important to look back and to remember. It is especially important to remember the difficult things that we’ve been carried through. The Bible reinforces this. The Israelites needed reminders of what they were delivered from. The more I remember of what God has done for me and delivered me from in the past, the more hope that I have for every tomorrow. Thanks for reminding me to look back and remember! God Bless You!
Man I can’t keep up with you!!
Dude, I was never the journal type. I mean it’s awesome that you have that history and that your children will have that history and maybe even your grandchildren!! What a gift! And that’s why you’re the writer in the family!!!