Violet Voices

Nonny said “no”?

by Barbara

I broke his little heart. That hated two-letter word – NO – helped me do it. Two-year-old Isaiah was crushed and let the world around him know it. Gramma had the audacity to look into his big blue eyes and say “No.” To him! How awful!

The grandchildren aren’t used to Gramma saying no. They hear it often enough from Aunties and Uncle and Mamas and Daddy. But, Gramma and Grandpa are the “Yes Parrots.” For the most part.

The older grands have the routine down pat. Each week one of them is treated as King (or Queen) for a Day. We pick them up, take them to the restaurant of their choice for lunch, and then take them with us as we shop for the week’s groceries. Once we have gone through all of the food aisles each child is permitted to go “to Toys” to pick out their choice.

We’ve been doing this now for several years. It started when there were only five. We added the babies as soon as they were able to sit up and be away from Mama for the required period of time.

The youngest girl – now 5 – fell asleep mid-way through the store her first few trips. She still got a toy, though. Grandpa chose the gaudiest, noisiest one he could find – and happily presented it, along with the baby girl, to the not so thrilled parents.

Little Isaiah loves to go with us. He is not able, yet, to understand that his turn only comes around every 7 weeks.

“I coming, Nonny!” “I buckle” (the seatbelt) “Go, bye-bye, Nonny!” were the words we heard on this day. And, oh, the tears when he heard that “no” would melt the coldest of hearts. So I picked him up and gave him a cuddle. I told him his turn would be soon. And then I did the hardest thing in the world. I turned and went to my car to leave. It had been his oldest brother’s turn – we were finished shopping – I was tired and had groceries to put away.

Besides – in just three weeks it would again be his turn. If he has forgiven me by then, that is.

Some people say I have too much of my life wrapped up in my grandchildren. They say it like that’s a bad thing. I don’t think we can ever give a child too much time – or too much love.

Even though Isaiah’s heart was broken at the age of two – soon he will understand that each child gets to spend special time with Grandpa and Nonny (the others call me Nana or Gramma). He, like the rest, will come to treasure that undivided attention received.

And someday – when he, himself, is a Grandpa – he’ll understand that the treasure was all ours.

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Written By: barbara
Posted under: On Being a Parent, Women's Voices .  Email This Post