October
2006
The Boss is In
by CynthiaÂ
Being a work-at-home mom sometimes has its disadvantages. When I tell people that I work from home they usually gush and say something along the lines of, “Girl, I wish I could do that — stay at home, work in my pajamas, be there for the kids…etc.” Naturally the next question they ask is who do I work for and how can they get started. I want to tell them that it’s just not that simple. I want to tell them about my months of sending out resumes online, my months of training to do transcription, my endless searches on the job boards. But I don’t think they really want to hear that. All they heard was that I get to stay home. If they could really see the flip side, they would see:
The mountain of laundry and dishes created when I’m under deadline. I get to see those and be reminded of those while I work. They call out to me from their corners of the house. “Here I am. Finish me. Just give me a few minutes of your time. You know I’m being neglected.” And I plug my earbuds in a little tighter so I can drown out the guilting they are dishing out.
Or what about the telephone that rings incessantly. Telemarketers. Surveyors. Hubby. And, gasp, other stay-at-homers. And of course everyone assumes that since you’re home, you’re available for whatever plans they might have for your time. “Your schedule is flexible. Can you just run to the post office, bank, heaven forbid — Wal-Mart?” “No…no…I want to scream. I have this deadline you see…” But they’re already giving you the particulars. And the truth of the matter is, they probably would never call you at a traditional job and ask these things. It’s as if because you’re at home you have no boss. And nothing could be farther from the truth.
In fact, since you’re home, you have yourself as boss. You must be demanding of your own time and deadlines. You must prioritize every waking moment–or you will learn the hard way that working with the television on puts you at least two hours behind, that Oprah is not conducive to productivity, and All My Children is basically the same storyline every five years repeated. “But Oprah motivates me,” my inner self whines. “No, what motivates you is that paycheck I get on a regular basis. Turn that t.v. off and get back to work,” I tell myself.
And that part about working in your pajamas, forget it. If you can get over the looks you get from UPS and FedEx, fine. But I’m one that won’t go to the door without a bra, and well, you might as well put one on when you get up, because the day you don’t get dressed is the day they arrive or you get called to school for a sick child, or a friend shows up wanting to take you to lunch. I could have killed my husband in cold blood the day he decided to schedule a repairman without telling me. You’re laughing, but you know, it happens.
So it’s not always a picnic in the park; the proverbially bed of roses indeed has its share of thorns. To all of you work-at-home moms out there — and maybe even dads — I applaud your efforts. I know how frustrated you are when it’s suppertime, homework time, family time, and you’re still sitting hunched over a computer keyboard trying to get that work out. I know how hard you work at balancing the delicate dance of deadlines and domestic duties. Yes, it’s rewarding to be there when the kids get home. Yes it’s nice not having to buy work clothes and lunches out or spend gas on commuting. These are our fringe benefits. It’s nice to have them, but what’s more important is that we love what we do. Like any job, that makes it all worthwhile. That, and the chance to stop and blog, take a coffee break, and go barefoot. Wink.
Have a great day!
Note from Meredith:Â For more information and support for work-at-home parents, see the following links (Christian sites, but helpful and supportive regardless of your religious affiliation):
The The Boss is In by Violet Voices, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Written By: Cynthia
Posted under: On Being a Parent, Stay At Home Parents . 
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I’m sorry. I did proof this, but I didn’t catch a couple of typos–like “proverbially” should be “proverbial.” But I hope you still enjoyed the post. If you’re another stay-at-home parent, would you please share your experiences with us?
Yes, it is important to teach others how to respect your work. It is when WE respect our work…that others see the model and respond. Still, I totally agree with you, it is frustrating that even those who love us dearly, leave their pleas and notes for things THEY can not get done because they are OFF to their work!
Working at home, whether paid or not, provides the opportunity to learn how to juggle! It’s a balancing act…..so many of our own plates up in the air….and then the unsolicited additional plates that are thrown in the mix while we’re not looking!
I, for one, am so thankful that the volunteer work I do can be done from home. And, it should be noted, that volunteer work…..done at home…..is often NOT considered work! Still, the comittment remains, whether paid or unpaid. I actually like volunteering a little better….they usually don’t fire you!
Thanks for the great, and important post, Cindy! When you work at home, it is important to surround yourself with support and encouragement. You have provided just that in today’s post.
Diane
And if you are homeschooling–then you really have to be disciplined, because your children’s future is squarely on your shoulders. Interruptions are difficult when you’re trying to teach long division. Phone calls impossible when your helping your son decode words. It takes more self discipline to stay home than to go out to work. Those of us who have done it, know the truth. Your post reminded me.
It amazes me how many people think working at home is SOOO easy. I see people all the time asking how they can quickly earn money from home. I tell them garage sale. Well, I did go over some other ideas in my blog the other day, but that’s getting off topic.
My mother in law was the most difficult for me for the longest time. She still isn’t that easy, but she’s starting to understand. When I did medical transcription, she was always asking when I would get a real job. Couldn’t get her to understand that it was real.
Working at home means that you feel obligated to work even when you’re so sick you would’ve stayed home from an outside the home job. It’s working when the kids are asleep at night or before they wake up in the morning. It’s no picnic.