March
2007
Want to feel beautiful?
By Meredith Efken
As an author and freelance editor, I’m somewhat in the public view. My picture is posted on both my websites and in the back of my books. I do some speaking and the occasional (sparsely attended) book signing. So it’s only natural that I want to look my best, instead of looking like a candidate for What Not To Wear.
Problem is, I didn’t grow up in a family that had money to spare for things like fashion or keeping up with trends. I never learned how to shop or how to choose clothes that looked good on me. My method for dealing with the whole clothing issue was to wait until I couldn’t put it off any more, and then do a panic shopping trip. I’d bring home my new outfits, put them on, stand in front of the mirror…
And realize they looked hideous on me!
Adding to that, I’ve always struggled with self-image issues and trying to accept myself for who I am. I’m learning that there’s a fine balance between wanting to look one’s best and wanting to be someone you’re not. It’s not an easy line to walk. And for someone like me who had never had any guidance, it’s hard to even locate the line!
I don’t know how many of you can relate to these struggles. Probably quite a few. And you might be thinking that it doesn’t really matter anyway because you’re not in the public view. Maybe you’re pretty much a home body. So you think that your own appearance isn’t all that important. Or maybe you’ve been taught that it’s wrong to care how you look–because true beauty is what’s inside.
I have been through all that. And what I’ve found is that how you treat the outside of your body is usually a reflection of what you think of yourself inside. When I felt ashamed of my body, or when I lacked self-confidence, I tended to choose baggy, sloppy clothes that allowed me to hide. When I went shopping, I tended to choose clothing that reminded me of something that made me feel good, or that I admired on someone else.
Even the colors–I liked colors that made me feel like I didn’t stand out, that helped me recede.
Notice–nothing that I’ve described had anything to do with what actually looked good on ME. And that’s why when I got home from a shopping trip, I would invariably be disappointed.
I feel like I have a long way to go in learning how to first see myself the way God sees me, and then reflect that view in the way I treat my body. But my friend, Christine, helped me a lot. She’s an image coach. She helps both men and women learn how to choose clothes and accessories (like make-up or hairstyles) that bring out the best in that person. She also helps people learn to accept themselves and appreciate who they are as people. I like to think of it as she helps us recognize our inner beauty by teaching us how to reflect it on the outside.
I’d like to encourage all of you–whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a career woman, or even one of the few guys that I’m sure lurks here (even though they don’t comment)–to take a look at Integrity Works and read Christine’s information there. I think you’ll find it encouraging and informative.
We all need to feel beautiful, don’t you think? 
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This work is published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Stay At Home Parents, Women's Voices . 
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Meredith, our upbringing sounds similar in the fashion category. I grew up wearing hand-me-downs that had already been through 3 girls. Talk about out of style by the time they got to me!
I’d love to try Christine’s services. Just sounds so fun! Maybe someday when that ginormous contract shows up.
LOL! I hear you, Sally! Hey, you should contact Christine anyway. She charges a lot less than I charge for editing. It’s quite reasonable really. And lots of fun.
I too was fashion challenged as a kid in a town where most of my high school had money and fashion sense. I remember my favorite colors to where were brown and beige. Now I love bright colors, reds and yellows, and have found my own style I think looks good on me. Though I’m still shoe challenged. I don’t know how to match shoes to outfits!
BTW, saw your before and after photos and it’s amazing what a change of hair can do for a person’s image. I’ve pretty much had the same hair all my life, but being that I’ll probably never blow out my curls, I don’t have much option. Maybe one day when I get the nerve I’ll cut it real short, maybe not!
Gina, dear friend, with your incredible hair, you don’t NEED to do anything different with it. Seriously, everyone, this girl has the most amazingly gorgeous hair I think I’ve ever seen. You don’t mess with that sort of perfection!
Oh, gee can you see me blush! Thank you so much, but it does get kind of boring after a while. Last time I cut it off to the shoulders for locks of love, and I’m almost ready to do it again. It’s for a great cause and my hair grows really fast! I’ll have to do some before and after pictures when I do it!
I think this is interesting, and I keep thinking “Someday.” But I have some big events this summer coming up……
Thanks, Meredith. I so cannot get away from this message lately. God has been impressing it on my heart to look like a successful professional even if I am tempted to say I’m “just a stay-at-home mommy writer.” It’s been so fun to watch Him bring this message time and again.
And I, too, have a friend who is an image consultant and she has graciously taught me “what not to wear.” One of these days I might actually be able to dress myself. LOL!