Violet Voices

Thanks for the Drop-Kick!

by Meredith Efken

It’s been a very full few months, and I’m going to give you all an update on what I’ve been up to. But I have a special thank you to give this evening, so all that other stuff will just have to wait.

I’ve never been a particularly self-assured person. I’m such a perfectionist that I’m far more likely to assume 1) I can’t do it or 2) I’m doing it wrong than I am to assume that I can do something well. At least, until I’ve proven otherwise to myself. Even then, I swing between confidence and constant self-doubt.

With writing, I’ve needed the encouragement of my husband and my writing mentors, who believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself. But I find that I need that sort of encouragement in other areas of my life, too.

I want to publicly thank my pastor, Scott Ross, for providing that encouragement in the area of music. He leads worship at our church in addition to pastoring, and he’s always looking for new people to train up on the worship team. It’s a Vineyard church, and the Vineyard community of churches has a rich tradition of great contemporary worship and wonderful worship leaders. We have a great worship team at our church–so many talented people. And Scott is always open to taking on one more.

In my case, he had to do a bit of prodding. I sing and play piano, but my experience has all been classical training. I read music, but I never played much by ear. And I’m far more at home with a sonata than a rock song. I’m pretty much a nerd when it comes to pop music–okay, I’m almost completely ignorant. The idea of my playing keyboard and singing in a rock band type of worship team seemed ludicrous. And I told Scott so when he first asked me.

But he saw something I didn’t see. (Probably the empty keyboard sitting on stage, but…whatever.) He didn’t take no for an answer. That was three years ago, and I discovered I actually CAN play in a band. And I don’t suck at it! (Well, not too often, anyway.) In fact, it has brought a depth and richness to my personal worship experience that I’ve never had before. I thought that sort of spiritual experience could only happen when I really get into my writing. I didn’t know I would experience God that way when I play.

A couple weeks ago, Scott approached me with a question that seemed somehow inevitable, but still a bit terrifying. How about LEADING worship? I stammered out an okay, and then wondered what I had just agreed to.

Me? Lead worship? Yeah, right. Let’s see how badly we can ruin the congregation’s Sunday service. But I had said that I’d give it a try. I’m not sure why I did…but I think it was partly because Scott must think I could do it, or he wouldn’t have mentioned it. And that meant a lot to me. I didn’t want to prove him wrong.

We just had our practice this evening. I’m only having to do one song tomorrow–trying to ease me into it. Scott drop-kicks us into stuff, but at least he tries to do it in increments. Practice went fairly well. At least, considering I’ve never led any band on any song in my life. I’m no worship leader prodigy, and it’s a very good thing our congregation is gracious and forgiving, because I’ll need it.

But I didn’t suck at it. In fact, except for being sick to my stomach from nerves, and feeling utterly exhausted and like I just might die…it was kind of fun. The team was supportive, and we laughed and joked a lot. Being dropped kicked into something could be a lot more painful than it was. Now if I can simply survive the one song tomorrow…

So I just want to say thank you to Scott for having the vision to see potential in people, and then being willing to take the time to nurture and bring out that potential. I would never have considered playing with the worship team. I was too convinced of my own lack of ability. And even now, I believe strongly that any ability I have comes from God and not from myself. But still, Scott saw it when I didn’t. And if he hadn’t have acted on what he saw, I would have missed out on a whole world I never thought I could belong to. Sunday morning worship has taken on all new meaning for me, and I love being part of the team.

I think Drop-Kicking must be a spiritual gift. It takes a lot of courage, too–on part of the kickER as well as the kickEE. It takes a willingness to not just mentor and build up a person, but to be willing to allow that person to fail, too. To not be perfect. To make a lot of mistakes. I think it’s scary for any leader to give up that control–especially when it concerns something that could impact the whole congregation. But a good leader is willing to take that risk. Scott’s a very good leader.

I tease Scott about his tendency to drop-kick us. But actually, I need to be drop-kicked. I wouldn’t grow without it.

So this is my tribute and thank you to a wonderful pastor and awesome worship leader. Thank you for seeing potential, believing in us, your patience, your prodding, and for taking risks to train up others. I know you like to act as though it’s all strictly utilitarian in nature, but I think reality is that it’s just the “shepherd” in you showing.

And if I fall flat on my face tomorrow, I’m glad to know you’ll still believe in me and let me try again. (…right???)

Seriously, thanks.

The Thanks for the Drop-Kick! by Violet Voices, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices .  Email This Post