1
January
2008
by Meredith Efken
Happy 2008! I hope your new year is off to a great start already. It’s been ages since I’ve actively posted on my blog, but the time has been well-spent. I have some new book contracts which I’ll say more about at a later time.
What I’m especially excited about right now are the changes and improvements in the works for this site. Within this year, you can expect to have a brand new email newsletter option–a short, weekly email with information and advice on how you can change your life and your world, without feeling overwhelmed or stressed. This newsletter will also be posted onto the blog, for those of you not fond of receiving much email.
I’ll also be making some major changes to the blog and the site–including a new name, a new focus, and a new design. More details on that in the weeks ahead.
For now, I’d like to hear from you. What is one change you’d like to make in the coming year? This is not a “resolution” but just something you’d like to make different in 2008.
Anyone want to volunteer a comment?
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . 
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30
June
2007
by Meredith Efken
It’s been a very full few months, and I’m going to give you all an update on what I’ve been up to. But I have a special thank you to give this evening, so all that other stuff will just have to wait.
I’ve never been a particularly self-assured person. I’m such a perfectionist that I’m far more likely to assume 1) I can’t do it or 2) I’m doing it wrong than I am to assume that I can do something well. At least, until I’ve proven otherwise to myself. Even then, I swing between confidence and constant self-doubt.
With writing, I’ve needed the encouragement of my husband and my writing mentors, who believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself. But I find that I need that sort of encouragement in other areas of my life, too.
I want to publicly thank my pastor, Scott Ross, for providing that encouragement in the area of music. He leads worship at our church in addition to pastoring, and he’s always looking for new people to train up on the worship team. It’s a Vineyard church, and the Vineyard community of churches has a rich tradition of great contemporary worship and wonderful worship leaders. We have a great worship team at our church–so many talented people. And Scott is always open to taking on one more.
In my case, he had to do a bit of prodding. I sing and play piano, but my experience has all been classical training. I read music, but I never played much by ear. And I’m far more at home with a sonata than a rock song. I’m pretty much a nerd when it comes to pop music–okay, I’m almost completely ignorant. The idea of my playing keyboard and singing in a rock band type of worship team seemed ludicrous. And I told Scott so when he first asked me.
But he saw something I didn’t see. (Probably the empty keyboard sitting on stage, but…whatever.) He didn’t take no for an answer. That was three years ago, and I discovered I actually CAN play in a band. And I don’t suck at it! (Well, not too often, anyway.) In fact, it has brought a depth and richness to my personal worship experience that I’ve never had before. I thought that sort of spiritual experience could only happen when I really get into my writing. I didn’t know I would experience God that way when I play.
A couple weeks ago, Scott approached me with a question that seemed somehow inevitable, but still a bit terrifying. How about LEADING worship? I stammered out an okay, and then wondered what I had just agreed to.
Me? Lead worship? Yeah, right. Let’s see how badly we can ruin the congregation’s Sunday service. But I had said that I’d give it a try. I’m not sure why I did…but I think it was partly because Scott must think I could do it, or he wouldn’t have mentioned it. And that meant a lot to me. I didn’t want to prove him wrong.
We just had our practice this evening. I’m only having to do one song tomorrow–trying to ease me into it. Scott drop-kicks us into stuff, but at least he tries to do it in increments. Practice went fairly well. At least, considering I’ve never led any band on any song in my life. I’m no worship leader prodigy, and it’s a very good thing our congregation is gracious and forgiving, because I’ll need it.
But I didn’t suck at it. In fact, except for being sick to my stomach from nerves, and feeling utterly exhausted and like I just might die…it was kind of fun. The team was supportive, and we laughed and joked a lot. Being dropped kicked into something could be a lot more painful than it was. Now if I can simply survive the one song tomorrow…
So I just want to say thank you to Scott for having the vision to see potential in people, and then being willing to take the time to nurture and bring out that potential. I would never have considered playing with the worship team. I was too convinced of my own lack of ability. And even now, I believe strongly that any ability I have comes from God and not from myself. But still, Scott saw it when I didn’t. And if he hadn’t have acted on what he saw, I would have missed out on a whole world I never thought I could belong to. Sunday morning worship has taken on all new meaning for me, and I love being part of the team.
I think Drop-Kicking must be a spiritual gift. It takes a lot of courage, too–on part of the kickER as well as the kickEE. It takes a willingness to not just mentor and build up a person, but to be willing to allow that person to fail, too. To not be perfect. To make a lot of mistakes. I think it’s scary for any leader to give up that control–especially when it concerns something that could impact the whole congregation. But a good leader is willing to take that risk. Scott’s a very good leader.
I tease Scott about his tendency to drop-kick us. But actually, I need to be drop-kicked. I wouldn’t grow without it.
So this is my tribute and thank you to a wonderful pastor and awesome worship leader. Thank you for seeing potential, believing in us, your patience, your prodding, and for taking risks to train up others. I know you like to act as though it’s all strictly utilitarian in nature, but I think reality is that it’s just the “shepherd” in you showing.
And if I fall flat on my face tomorrow, I’m glad to know you’ll still believe in me and let me try again. (…right???)
Seriously, thanks.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
25
April
2007
by Meredith Efken
Good things come to those who wait, and I’m sure you’ll agree that this was worth the wait today. Thank you to those of you who participated in my “guess my guest” contest. I’ll be announcing the winner at the end of the interview.
I’m very pleased to welcome an extraordinary woman to Violet Voices today…Teresa Heinz-Kerry. Mrs. Heinz-Kerry has been conducting a blog tour for the past couple of weeks to raise awareness of her Women’s Health and the Environment conference, which was held in Pittsburgh, PA, on April 20th.
I only knew Mrs. Heinz-Kerry as the wife of a senator I highly respect and admire. But after getting the opportunity to meet her in person this past December, I’ve become a fan-for-life. She is tirelessly dedicated to improving the lives of families, especially women, and she has a humility and genuine passion to serve others. She views her efforts to take care of the environment and to help improve the health of women and children as a moral mandate that transcends politics. I’ve found her to be an inspiring role model, and I’m so excited to get to introduce you all to this special lady.
VV: Was there a point in time or a certain event that first sparked your concern or passion about the environment? What is it about the connection between the environment and women’s health that motivates you to take action?
THK: Great questions – let me address each separately:
I think my interest and concern for the environment came from growing up in Africa. The combination of the laws of nature and lessons about cause and effect were important ones. My father was a doctor and shepherded me by his caring for people and working so hard to stem disease. My mother’s gardening and constant nurturing helped me to begin to see how one gets results—or does not!
The environment was real and tangible in Africa – there was an immediacy to it that you couldn’t ignore. One key lesson I remember is that all animals go to the water at sunset and sunrise, so you don’t go then. As a child, I learned to be a curious, caring healer, to protect and nurture, and to be practical about it.
Spending time with my father when he was providing medical care to the native people in the African bush, I began to understand very quickly how precious and valuable our surroundings are. The people of the savannah would kill animals only for food, not sport.
But Africa is very vulnerable to droughts and flooding. Africa is suffering terribly now because of the environmental issues.
With regard to my interest in the connection between women’s health and the environment, it is actually quite simple: we and our children are exposed every day to thousands of man-made chemicals. Hundreds of those chemicals can now be found in the tissue of every human being on the planet, including ones who are still in the womb. Most of us don’t know what chemicals are in the products we use, and there are no warning labels. Even though we know about phthalates and bisphenol A and other individual chemicals, we don’t know what the “cocktail effect†is. Some of the ingredients may be inactive by themselves, but mixed with others inside our bodies, they may be dangerous, especially to children. We can do biomonitoring on the body burdens of each chemical, but that information still doesn’t tell us how these chemicals may interact.
Our skin is our largest organ, remember. Everything we put onto it, we absorb just as if we were like eating or drinking it.
We have a Food and Drug Administration for food and drugs, and an Environmental Protection Agency for water and air quality, but we do not have an agency that monitors health and personal care products. Those products can be toxic, and women are more vulnerable than men because we use more than men, and our hormones are affected by some of the chemicals in these products. The European Union has outlawed 250 of the typical personal care products, whereas we have we outlawed only five. That’s because the EU utilizes the precautionary principle, whereby the manufacturer of a product has to prove it is safe before it goes onto the market. In the United States, it’s us getting sick or not who show whether a product is safe or not safe. The U.S. approach is shortsighted and punitive; it’s not the American way.
These kinds of questions led me to initiate the Women’s Health and Environment conferences we launched in Boston in 1996. And, this year, we just finished a wonderful conference in Pittsburgh. It was a full day of identifying problems and proposing solutions.
It is important to me that women and men have the information they need to make informed decisions, know how to find specific answers, or where to go with questions. Educating a woman means educating the whole family and I am happy to support that kind of learning.
VV: Africa sounds beautiful–I can see how you would come to care about our world so much by living in that sort of natural beauty. And the effects you’ve described of health and beauty products is truly chilling. Thank you for your efforts to bring these dangers to our attention.
A lot of us on this blog are moms. So I was wondering, as you were raising your children, what were some things you found helpful in teaching them to care for the environment?
THK: I didn’t start out being an environmentalist; I started out as a mother. I taught my boys about health, about beauty, and we witnessed as much creation as we could. Today, they are all good cooks; they care about healthy ingredients. We grew vegetables, and raised our own grass-fed steers on the farm when they were growing up. Food was and is a source of nutrition and wellness and pleasure. It was important to me that we had a lot of enjoyment around the table. But that takes some effort.
One of my grown children lives almost completely off the grid, and his family are healthy vegetarians. Another son loves to go to restaurants and he is an environmentalist who travels and fosters a healthier approach to life. My third son is aware and caring but not yet attached to a way of doing this. But all three are disciplined about the environmental impact of what they buy.
One of most interesting tools I used when they were growing up was to quote my father; I would tell them that they would get dyspepsia if they drank pop all the time! They had a little ginger ale at birthday parties, but no sweets in packages. Food should be of high quality, and they did not get a lot of sugar either. My late husband, John Heinz, was working on a bill on diabetes research in 1972. I read through it and decided it was time to make some changes! Sundays after church was the only day they could have sweets. I discovered the wisdom of this approach later on. They were much more disciplined about their intake of foods that were not healthy and when they arrived at the age when many children begin to experiment with drugs, they had a basic respect for self and for moderation and quality. Create the capacity for making good healthy choices and later that just takes over. It takes a lot of stubbornness to be a parent. I learned this from my own parents, not from a book, but it seems to have worked out.
It is also worth remembering that Pittsburgh’s air was for years laden with thick black smoke from the steel mills, and I think this impacted or enhanced their understanding. Kids know about asthma and other environmentally influenced sicknesses.
VV: Wow! That is actually so encouraging to me–the things you did with your children were so…normal. I can do those things. In fact, some of them, like limiting candy and junk food, I’m already doing. Whew…maybe I’m doing better at this mom-stuff than I thought. Thank you so much!
Okay, one last question: I’m 32 and a stay-at-home mom of two girls. As an experienced mom and someone who has been an active proponent of women’s health (as well as a rather wise lady with valuable life experience), what advice do you have for me in terms of either my own health or environmental safety at this stage in my life?
THK: Since our skin is our largest organ, I would begin by understanding what impact the cosmetics, personal and household products are having in both the short and long term. I have talked about this issue before but it bears repeating.
Second, I would look at the website for the Environmental Working Group to make sure the personal care products your daughters are using are not adversely impacting their normal growth process.
Third, look for ways to increase what you might be able to buy from local organic farmers, and if there aren’t any organic farmers nearby, at least get to know your local farmers and see what they sell and eat themselves. Are they responsible consumers and caring cultivators?
Try your hand at growing some things yourself. And look at the Environmental Working Group site for food safety hints. For example, hard-skinned fruit is generally safer, but you should buy organic soft skin fruit, preferably locally grown so you know the source. Make sure your meat (chicken and beef) does not have antibiotics, as well as your milk. It is preferable to look for grass-fed beef, pasture-fed cows, and corn-fed chicken, if you can find it. Eat vegetables from the broccoli family, including cabbage and cauliflower that are high in antioxidants. Wash them all well, of course, but don’t eat soft lettuce and spinach unless they very clean and/or organic because it is hard to get the pesticides off. If you can’t afford to buy organic milk or it is hard to find, one cup a day of the organic type is better than the hormone-laden regular milk. We do not want hormones in kid’s bodies. And if you’re want to eat meat, look into eating rabbit, which is high in protein with no fat.
Fourth, the future of the environment depends upon the willingness of each of us to get involved, whether locally or nationally, in an effort to create greater accountability of elected officials and the laws they pass regarding the environment. The old phrase “think globally and act locally†still rings true today, perhaps more than ever.
VV: Thanks so much, Teresa. These are great suggestions, and I appreciate how practical and doable they are. Sometimes, trying to be more careful about our health and taking care of our world seems really intimidating. It’s hard to know where to start. I appreciate the simple steps and suggestions. Thank you for all your efforts, and for being an inspiration and role model for all of us.
Be sure to check out the new Women’s Health and the Environment web site, and the rest of Mrs. Heinz-Kerry’s blog tour –there’s a wealth of information in every single one of her interviews, and several more days to go. Also, for a look at what other “normal people” are doing across the country to help improve the environment, take a look at the new book she and Senator Kerry co-authored:
This Moment on Earth: Today’s New Environmentalists and Their Vision for the Future
Tomorrow’s blog tour stop is one you won’t want to miss! For all you stay-at-home moms and for all you unschoolers, as well as anyone who enjoys the high-spirited and the off-beat, Cocking A Snook is a must-visit blog. (And if you don’t know what that phrase means, you’ll just have to visit the blog to find out. It’s not what you might think!) They’ll be hosting Mrs. Heinz-Kerry for another great interview, so stop by.
Now, for the winner of my “guess my guest” contest… *drum roll*
Kajudy!!!
(In my best game-show announcer voice:) Congratulations, Kajudy, you have just won an all-expense paid trip to Amazon.com where you will be able to spend a gift certificate on your choice of thousands of great products! (Hopefully environmentally friendly, healthy ones!) I’ll email you!
Thanks again, everyone, for helping make this special guest appearance so much fun. And a final thanks to Teresa Heinz-Kerry for her willingness to share a bit of her story with us. I think she qualifies as a Violet Voice, don’t you think?
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: On Being a Parent, Stay At Home Parents, Women's Voices . Email This Post
25
April
2007
by Meredith Efken
Today’s the day! Thank you to everyone who entered my contest. The interview with my special guest will post later today, so I encourage you to check back and read it. I’ll also announce who won the guessing contest. You all are some very Google-smart folks! 
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
23
April
2007
by Meredith Efken
On April 25th, Violet Voices will play host to a very special lady. She’s world-famous, but many people don’t know the real her. Her story begins in Mozambique as the daughter of an oncologist. The story winds through her years as a stay-at-home mom and her marriages to two well-known men. But it’s not a story about them. It’s about her–and her passion to see the lives of women bettered. It’s about her dedication on behalf of children and her concern about leaving this world God has given us a better place than when we found it. She speaks five languages, loves to cook, and has been known to stay up late at night blogging. She’s a mom, a philanthropist, an author, a wife, and an advocate for those who don’t have a strong voice.
I’ve personally met her and found her to be someone to admire and a person who is generous, warm, and insightful. And she’s coming to OUR blog!!!
You really won’t want to miss this. So to get the word out, I’m inviting you in the next 48 hours to take your best guess about who my special guest is. Register on the blog, and leave a comment with your guess. All registered commenters who have a correct guess will be put into a drawing for a small prize.
If you already know the answer, go ahead and leave a comment anyway, but don’t give away the answer for everyone else. You can contact me if you want to be included in the contest.
Also, please let your friends know about this special event, too. You can email this post to them by using the link at the end of the post.
See you all on Wednesday!
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
2
April
2007
By Meredith Efken
Last week, two friends of mine made an exciting announcement on one of our writer email loops. They found each other through the writers group, and now they are getting married! One of them occasionally comments on this blog, so she gave me permission to post the link to their very cute story announcement. If you want some warm fuzzies on this Monday, visit their Love Story.
Then come back and leave your well-wishes for my friends. Both have been waiting a long time for the right person to come into their lives, and I’m so glad they found each other.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
10
March
2007
By Meredith Efken
As an author and freelance editor, I’m somewhat in the public view. My picture is posted on both my websites and in the back of my books. I do some speaking and the occasional (sparsely attended) book signing. So it’s only natural that I want to look my best, instead of looking like a candidate for What Not To Wear.
Problem is, I didn’t grow up in a family that had money to spare for things like fashion or keeping up with trends. I never learned how to shop or how to choose clothes that looked good on me. My method for dealing with the whole clothing issue was to wait until I couldn’t put it off any more, and then do a panic shopping trip. I’d bring home my new outfits, put them on, stand in front of the mirror…
And realize they looked hideous on me!
Adding to that, I’ve always struggled with self-image issues and trying to accept myself for who I am. I’m learning that there’s a fine balance between wanting to look one’s best and wanting to be someone you’re not. It’s not an easy line to walk. And for someone like me who had never had any guidance, it’s hard to even locate the line!
I don’t know how many of you can relate to these struggles. Probably quite a few. And you might be thinking that it doesn’t really matter anyway because you’re not in the public view. Maybe you’re pretty much a home body. So you think that your own appearance isn’t all that important. Or maybe you’ve been taught that it’s wrong to care how you look–because true beauty is what’s inside.
I have been through all that. And what I’ve found is that how you treat the outside of your body is usually a reflection of what you think of yourself inside. When I felt ashamed of my body, or when I lacked self-confidence, I tended to choose baggy, sloppy clothes that allowed me to hide. When I went shopping, I tended to choose clothing that reminded me of something that made me feel good, or that I admired on someone else.
Even the colors–I liked colors that made me feel like I didn’t stand out, that helped me recede.
Notice–nothing that I’ve described had anything to do with what actually looked good on ME. And that’s why when I got home from a shopping trip, I would invariably be disappointed.
I feel like I have a long way to go in learning how to first see myself the way God sees me, and then reflect that view in the way I treat my body. But my friend, Christine, helped me a lot. She’s an image coach. She helps both men and women learn how to choose clothes and accessories (like make-up or hairstyles) that bring out the best in that person. She also helps people learn to accept themselves and appreciate who they are as people. I like to think of it as she helps us recognize our inner beauty by teaching us how to reflect it on the outside.
I’d like to encourage all of you–whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a career woman, or even one of the few guys that I’m sure lurks here (even though they don’t comment)–to take a look at Integrity Works and read Christine’s information there. I think you’ll find it encouraging and informative.
We all need to feel beautiful, don’t you think?
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Stay At Home Parents, Women's Voices . Email This Post
8
March
2007
by Meredith Efken
I’m trying something new–participating in a blog carnival. I’ve belonged to CrazyHipBlogMamas almost since I started Violet Voices, but I want to get more involved. Their weekly Carnival of the CrazyHipMamas seems like a good place to start.
The question for this week is “What was your favorite TV show as a kid?”
I blush to answer because the answer also reveals my first celebrity crush…
Knight Rider.
Alas, ’tis true. My little friend and I (we were about upper elementary at the time) thought David Hasselhoff was the most fabulous thing God ever created. Although, I must say…I think I was equally in love with K.I.T.T., the car. I joined the fan club, even! Got the signed photo and everything. Oh my goodness, my parents must have been despairing of my good taste.
Hmm…Well, at least K.I.T.T. was worth swooning over.
Okay, ‘fess up, all. What were your favorite shows?
(Thanks to The Knight Rider Archive for this terrific shot of my main squeeze.)
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
7
March
2007
by Meredith Efken
Anybody been following this bizarre story? A group of five bone boxes have been found in Israel, bearing inscriptions that have lead a couple of researchers to conclude they are the bones of the Virgin Mary, Mary of Magdalene, Jesus Christ, and his son Judah, as well as the disciple Matthew.
My friend, Randy Ingermanson, who has a PhD in theoretical physics as well as being an all-around brilliant math guy (and a fabulous novelist, to boot!) has done a really fascinating statistical analysis of the likelihood of these bones belonging to the people that the researchers claim they belong to. It’s definitely worth a look–and don’t worry, if you’re not a math person (I’m not) you’ll still be able to follow the argument.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
26
February
2007
By Meredith Efken
A couple weeks ago, I got an intriguing comment to an archived post about alternative menstrual products. I felt the comment deserved a response, so I’ve decided to dedicate a new post to it.
Michelle says:
Maybe you shouldn’t too proud of your periods. It is after all a reminder that we women are responsible for original sin (via Eve). It seems to me that our periods should be inconvenient.
This sentiment made me terribly sad. I don’t think I know Michelle, but if she happens to see this post, I want her to know that God is not a vengeful, punishing Being who bears a grudge against all women because of Eve. He loves us, and our bodies and the way they function are a beautiful gift from Him because of that love.
I didn’t always believe this either, Michelle. I used to feel similarly to you. I used to think that God somehow wanted His daughters to be uncomfortable and in pain to forever punish us for something one woman did ages ago. I don’t know how my faith ever survived that horrible teaching. But I can tell you that I experienced such a sense of healing and love when I finally was presented with the truth.
Without getting into a lengthy theological discussion, I would like to point out that the Genesis account of the sin of Adam and Eve, as well as later references to it in the New Testament, clearly portray Eve’s problem as one of deception, and Adam’s problem as one of rebellion. Now, either way, the end result was still sin and death entering what had been a perfect world. But the teaching that Eve is somehow solely responsible or more culpable than Adam is completely incorrect. If anything, the Bible places slightly more guilt on Adam because he was not deceived–he sinned deliberately.
Furthermore, if you’ll notice in Genesis 3, God curses the Serpent directly. But that is the only being that is directly cursed. The only other time the word “Cursed” is used is in reference to the ground, because of what ADAM did. Eve is never cursed, and neither is anything cursed because of her.
Regarding all this stuff about pain in childbirth, etc., God’s Word To Women has a very good scripture study about this. My view is that God is simply letting Eve know what the consequences will be for what’s happened. As a result of her deception and Adam’s rebellion, things changed horribly. Their relationship was ruined. And because of the changes that would now take place between them and in the world at large, childbirth would become something that would cause pain.
This word for “pain” in Hebrew is the same one that God uses when He tells Adam that he would now have to “toil” to work the ground. It’s also a word that connotes deep emotional or spiritual sorrow and grief. I personally think this means that God was simply acknowledging that now that sin was in the world, raising children and caring for them would leave a person open to great sorrow because of the hurts that child would face. As a parent, this seems to be far more significant than simply physical pain during childbirth. (And I should know–I had the pregnancy from hell!!!)
So, am I “proud” of my periods? I don’t think that’s quite the word for it. I am grateful that God has made my body so wonderful and complex. If I take pride in anything, it is in the creative powers of the God that I worship. I want to treat my body–including my reproductive system–with care and respect.
But I don’t agree that there is any Biblical basis for suggesting that monthly cycles ought to be inconvenient or even painful simply as a way of punishing women. That doesn’t line up with the God I worship, who describes Himself as “loving, kind, faithful, and merciful.” I do acknowledge that periods can be inconvenient and painful, but I still maintain that as we women learn to understand our bodies better and appreciate them, there is much we can do to work with the way God has made us, instead of against. And this will result in bodies that function with less pain and with less inconvenience.
To me, this is all part of God’s redemption plan. His mercy. His kindness.
Because He loves me. A woman.
For Michelle, and any other woman out there who feels the way she does, I pray that this God of Love and Mercy will lift your heads and reveal to your hearts exactly how beautiful and precious you are to Him–in mind, spirit, AND in body.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: On Being a Parent, Women's Voices . Email This Post
