Violet Voices

Birthdays, both human and book14 Comments. Your turn!

Today is my husband’s 34th birthday. That in itself makes it a special day. Every time I look at him, I can’t help but think, “How did I get so darn lucky as to be spending my life with such a guy?” He’s due home from work in about fifteen minutes, and I just can’t wait–even though I just saw him at lunch. (The girls and I took him to Don and Millie’s restaurant in honor of the day.) He’s truly a rare and beautiful treasure. And for all the girls that passed him over in college because they thought he was just a “nice guy” but nothing exciting, I have only one thing to say…

Neener neener neener!!! *thumbing my nose*

(Me and my sweetheart at a Denver B&B this summer for ICRS, dressed up to attend the Christy Awards.)

But this is also a special day for another reason–one year ago today, my first novel, SAHM I Am, was released. I remember specifically avoiding bookstores on this day–wanting desperately to see my book on the shelf and yet scared that it wouldn’t be there and I’d be disappointed.

And now this year, the sequel, @Home For The Holidays, is available, too. (I think the official release date was actually yesterday.)

It feels sort of like the difference between having the first child and then having the second one. Lots of angst and nail-biting and ecstacy and anticipation last year at this time. Lots of running to the bookstores (after I heard that yes, the book was ON the shelf) just to stand and grin at the little stack of MY books.

This year, it’s a little different. I’m still VERY excited, and I want everyone to check out @Home because it’s a terrific story. And I will still end up oogling the Christian fiction section of every bookstore I visit, just to see if it’s there. But I’m calmer this year. It’s a terrific book, but I also have more realistic expectations about it. It’s not likely going to take the literary world by storm or turn me into a celebrity. (Not that I expected the first book to do that exactly…but a girl fantazises, you know.)

But still, it’s MY “baby” and having two novels in print is no small thing. So please excuse me for my proud parent moment…I’m going to whip out the photos and show you my “kids.” I hope you will check them out!

Here’s my debut novel, on its first birthday:

Sahm I Am

Isn’t it CUTE???

And here’s my newborn novel, only about a day old. It’s a Christmas story about the same group of stay-at-home moms as my first novel. A comedy about motherhood, fatherhood, stay-at-home parents, and how we celebrate the holiday season. It also has story threads in it about international adoption, embryo adoption, and the “War on Christmas.” (Ooohh, that one was a LOT of fun!) Publisher’s Weekly said the satire of Rosalyn was “delicious”–high praise from that particular publication!

@Home For The Holidays

Happy Birthday, everyone! (And pick up a copy of my book!)

Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: International Adoption, On Being a Parent, Stay At Home Parents, Women's Voices .  Email This Post

The Boss is In4 Comments. Your turn!

by Cynthia 

Being a work-at-home mom sometimes has its disadvantages. When I tell people that I work from home they usually gush and say something along the lines of, “Girl, I wish I could do that — stay at home, work in my pajamas, be there for the kids…etc.” Naturally the next question they ask is who do I work for and how can they get started. I want to tell them that it’s just not that simple. I want to tell them about my months of sending out resumes online, my months of training to do transcription, my endless searches on the job boards. But I don’t think they really want to hear that. All they heard was that I get to stay home. If they could really see the flip side, they would see:

The mountain of laundry and dishes created when I’m under deadline. I get to see those and be reminded of those while I work. They call out to me from their corners of the house. “Here I am. Finish me. Just give me a few minutes of your time. You know I’m being neglected.” And I plug my earbuds in a little tighter so I can drown out the guilting they are dishing out.

Or what about the telephone that rings incessantly. Telemarketers. Surveyors. Hubby. And, gasp, other stay-at-homers. And of course everyone assumes that since you’re home, you’re available for whatever plans they might have for your time. “Your schedule is flexible. Can you just run to the post office, bank, heaven forbid — Wal-Mart?” “No…no…I want to scream. I have this deadline you see…” But they’re already giving you the particulars. And the truth of the matter is, they probably would never call you at a traditional job and ask these things. It’s as if because you’re at home you have no boss. And nothing could be farther from the truth.

In fact, since you’re home, you have yourself as boss. You must be demanding of your own time and deadlines. You must prioritize every waking moment–or you will learn the hard way that working with the television on puts you at least two hours behind, that Oprah is not conducive to productivity, and All My Children is basically the same storyline every five years repeated. “But Oprah motivates me,” my inner self whines. “No, what motivates you is that paycheck I get on a regular basis. Turn that t.v. off and get back to work,” I tell myself.

And that part about working in your pajamas, forget it. If you can get over the looks you get from UPS and FedEx, fine. But I’m one that won’t go to the door without a bra, and well, you might as well put one on when you get up, because the day you don’t get dressed is the day they arrive or you get called to school for a sick child, or a friend shows up wanting to take you to lunch. I could have killed my husband in cold blood the day he decided to schedule a repairman without telling me. You’re laughing, but you know, it happens.

So it’s not always a picnic in the park; the proverbially bed of roses indeed has its share of thorns. To all of you work-at-home moms out there — and maybe even dads — I applaud your efforts. I know how frustrated you are when it’s suppertime, homework time, family time, and you’re still sitting hunched over a computer keyboard trying to get that work out. I know how hard you work at balancing the delicate dance of deadlines and domestic duties. Yes, it’s rewarding to be there when the kids get home. Yes it’s nice not having to buy work clothes and lunches out or spend gas on commuting. These are our fringe benefits. It’s nice to have them, but what’s more important is that we love what we do. Like any job, that makes it all worthwhile. That, and the chance to stop and blog, take a coffee break, and go barefoot. Wink.

Have a great day!

Note from Meredith:  For more information and support for work-at-home parents, see the following links (Christian sites, but helpful and supportive regardless of your religious affiliation):

Christian Work At Home Moms

Christian Work At Home Dads

Written By: Cynthia
Posted under: On Being a Parent, Stay At Home Parents .  Email This Post

I must be crazy1 Comment. Be next.

I’ve started a new business this past summer. I’m now the proud proprietor of the Fiction Fix-It Shop, a freelance fiction editing service. If you are writing fiction, or have friends who do, please check it out!

It’s going well so far, and I’m excited about it. But it’s yet another thing on top of my own writing, homeschooling, and church ministry. I need to do it because we need the income. In fact, every thing I’m currently involved in are things I feel I am supposed to be doing.

And sometimes it is overwhelming. Like right now. I leave tomorrow for a writers conference. I’m supposed to be giving a “Late Night Chat” about writing and being a parent. How to make it work. I’m not so sure I have a lot of advice to give on that subject. Sometimes, I’m not sure how to make it work for me, much less anyone else.

This morning, I lay in bed for awhile, just praying that God would help me order and prioritize my day. There’s so much to be done, and I know there is little time. I just have to trust Him that what must be done will get done, somehow. And that it’s okay to leave the rest of it until another time.

So when people ask me “how do you do it all?” I usually say “I don’t!” But it’s true that I’m doing a lot. And somehow it’s working. It’s God, not me, that’s for sure.
And honestly, it’s really exciting to be able to say I’m self-employed. I’ve been self-employed with my writing for several years. But adding the editing is a different kind of self-employment, it seems. I’m not sure how to explain it, but offering a service to other writers feels different than working on my own art. I like both my careers, but the Fiction Fix-It Shop makes me feel like a businesswoman in a way the writing doesn’t.

I just hope and pray I’m not in over my head!

Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Stay At Home Parents, Women's Voices .  Email This Post

You have something to say!1 Comment. Be next.

I started this blog to give other people a chance to tell their stories, share their experiences, and let their voices be heard. It’s so fun to now have 3-4 “Violet Voices” participating on this blog. I encourage you to check out their posts by clicking on their names under the “author” section on the right.

But as much as I appreciate the voices we already have, I’d LOVE to have more. You have something to share. So why not register (on the right under the Meta section) and be part of this blog? See all the particulars on the right by clicking on “Tell Your Story” under the Pages section.

This would be especially great for those of you who don’t want to maintain your own blog, or like Gina, who reposts older posts from her own blogs. If you are trying to decide whether or not to have your own blog, guest blogging is an easy way to try it out.

Be a Voice!

Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: International Adoption, On Being a Parent, Stay At Home Parents, Women's Voices .  Email This Post

Moms Making a Difference1 Comment. Be next.

School’s back in session, and the house is oddly quiet. It’s time I got back to my works-in-progress, my newest endeavor, From the Dust of Rose Hill. As I sat down in front of my laptop today, thoughts began flooding my mind of how to approach this new work. I opened an email from Diane, one of the blessings of friendship I have encountered in my first months of becoming a Stay-At-Home-Mom. A wonderful and enlightening conversation followed that, had I been anywhere else in the world at this moment on a traditional job, would not or in all liklihood could not have occurred.

Diane is an encourager. Her words and thoughts over at Partners in Prayer for our Prodigals will bless you and enrich your life as she chronicles the blessings and struggles of parenting a wayward son. In the months that followed our meeting, I have come to realize that God in his infinite wisdom has placed her in my path for specific reasons. But not only her, a plethora of wonderful moms, all beautiful and funny and engaging in their own special ways. This is the joy of the internet, my friends. The fact that we can share our lives — however far apart we may be — and lift up one another is an incredible miracle to me.

You see, being a stay-at-home-mom is sometimes a lonely job. Not being out in the corporate world has its perks, but you lose a lot of that day-to-day interaction that keeps one sane. It helps to be able to log on and find moms who are experiencing the same things you are experiencing day by day. It helps to have a shoulder to cry on, a friend to rejoice with, a partner in prayer. If you think I’m wrong about this, visit some of these wonderful ladies’ blogs and see how much prayer goes on. In a day and age where it is being banned in public places right and left, it is an awesome feeling to know that the world cannot stop prayer from continuing. There is a band of believers and moms silently — and sometimes not so silently, making their way around the world, holding each other up — holding each other’s families and children up to God. Once God puts something in motion, you can’t stop it. Your words are a powerful thing, mothers. At the risk of sounding preachy, let’s remember that as we interact here. I want to make a difference. Don’t you?

Written By: Cynthia
Posted under: Stay At Home Parents .  Email This Post

Opportunity Awaits4 Comments. Your turn!

Note From Meredith: Please welcome Cynthia as our newest Violet Voice! Cynthia is a fellow writer, and a SAHM, and I’m thrilled to have her contributing to my blog. Here’s Cynthia’s story about becoming a Work at Home Mom.

Last year my husband and I found ourselves seeking employment. It was the perfect time to change over to being a Stay-at-Home-Mom. I was tired of the corporate world, tired of being at their mercy with my schedule, tired of the ulcers it gave me. I began searching the internet for ways to work from home. This proved to be as wild a goose chase as any you have ever encountered. There are so many “opportunities” — so very few legitimate work-from-home jobs. Most of the online opportunities involved multilevel marketing or living off of residuals. I didn’t have time to build up a business based on referrals. I needed employment.

Finally after a few frustrating months, I posted my resume on a freelance network and received a call from a transcription company. With my office management skills and experience, this avenue proved to be a perfect match. I found I could type in my pajamas if I wanted, just like all the ads had touted. I was skeptical about getting paid. I had heard that there are scams online that get you to take a test (translate type long files) or pay to take their courses. Then they keep you on the lowest payscale, because you’re in “training” still. I was one of the fotunate ones; just as promised, my check arrived along with more work. I was thrilled, but still I had this nagging feeling that I could do more.

My English degree lay dormant for 20 years. I wanted to write. I’ve always wanted to write. I have always written. My works filled pages and pages but were locked away where no one could read them. During those frustrating months of unemployment I began to work on that first novel, and now less than a year later, I am proud to say that I have finished the first draft of From Pharaoh’s Hand.

The journey and self-discovery have been incredible as I have started blogging and researching the making of a novel. Learning about the publishing world has opened my eyes to new avenues at every hand, and I hope to find a niche for my first work as soon as possible.

There is a wealth of information to be had for new writers and new stay-at-home moms on the internet. It pays to be persistent and wary. Sift through the ever-increasing flow of information and find that gold mine you’ve been searching for — whether it’s an agent or just a part -time typing job. Your persistance will pay off in time, and both your family and your ulcers will thank you. Wish me luck!

Written By: Cynthia
Posted under: Stay At Home Parents .  Email This Post

Life’s Little Interruptions3 Comments. Your turn!

By Gina Conroy

Almost several months ago I signed up for a Bible Study with some home schooling friends. I really didn’t feel like committing to another night out of the home especially since my family was already overscheduled with activities, but my husband encouraged me to go, and I knew I needed something to help me get into the Word and be accountable. I didn’t know the Bible study was on hearing the voice of God.

Half way through the Bible study God began to deal with me about my skewed priorities. Just like what happened to Saul on the road to Damascus, God decided to knock me off my horse. Yet, instead of blinding me as He did with Saul, the scales fell from my eyes.

The topic of discussion at our Bible study that week had been sold out hunger for God. The author Pricilla Shirer shared these words.

“More and more the Lord is showing me what I consider interruptions are often divine distractions designed to reveal His plans for me…”

Pricilla Shirer wrote about her young son tugging on her leg, trying to get her attention while she sat engrossed in writing the Bible study. “Ignoring this interruption ignores God’s attempt to move me away from my plan for my day to His.”

Talk about an “ah-ha” moment! It was then that I realized I was treating my children as interruptions in my life and to my writing career. I had become so focused on what I thought my calling from God was that I’d been missing His divine plan for my life.

When I decided to home school almost two years ago I felt that was an interruption in my life. The time I thought I would have to write now had to be allocated to schooling. Still I was determined to make it work even if it meant staying up past midnight and “winging it” through my lessons the following day. During a quick break or at lunch, I’d steal away to the computer and get on email only to stay longer than I had planned. My three-year-old would often interrupt what I was doing, and I’d either shoo her away or get irritated at the interruption. If I lingered too long on the computer I knew chaos would erupt in the rooms below with my boys, but somehow I couldn’t pull myself away in time to prevent the inevitable.

Pricilla goes on to write “…we all become frustrated when seemingly meaningless interruptions interfere with plans we have for our careers, families, finances, or ministries. Are we missing God’s interventions as He seeks to divert us to His will?”

Was I missing God’s intervention as He sought to divert me to His will? I thought home schooling was an interruption in my life, but maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was God’s divine intervention to steer me back on the path He had already designed for me.

Pricilla said, “Sometimes when our plans are interrupted, we are staring God’s direction in the face. We must not push them aside to complete what we feel is most important.”

I’m still learning to hear God’s voice, and I’m clinging to Isaiah 55:8-9 “My thoughts are not your thoughts. My ways are not your ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than yours.”

Gina Conroy is a homeschooling writing mom of four. This artcile was reposted for Violet Voices. For more musings by this author, visit her blog Portrait of a Writer…Interrupted.

Written By: Gina
Posted under: On Being a Parent, Stay At Home Parents .  Email This Post