1
January
2008
by Meredith Efken
Happy 2008! I hope your new year is off to a great start already. It’s been ages since I’ve actively posted on my blog, but the time has been well-spent. I have some new book contracts which I’ll say more about at a later time.
What I’m especially excited about right now are the changes and improvements in the works for this site. Within this year, you can expect to have a brand new email newsletter option–a short, weekly email with information and advice on how you can change your life and your world, without feeling overwhelmed or stressed. This newsletter will also be posted onto the blog, for those of you not fond of receiving much email.
I’ll also be making some major changes to the blog and the site–including a new name, a new focus, and a new design. More details on that in the weeks ahead.
For now, I’d like to hear from you. What is one change you’d like to make in the coming year? This is not a “resolution” but just something you’d like to make different in 2008.
Anyone want to volunteer a comment?
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . 
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30
June
2007
by Meredith Efken
It’s been a very full few months, and I’m going to give you all an update on what I’ve been up to. But I have a special thank you to give this evening, so all that other stuff will just have to wait.
I’ve never been a particularly self-assured person. I’m such a perfectionist that I’m far more likely to assume 1) I can’t do it or 2) I’m doing it wrong than I am to assume that I can do something well. At least, until I’ve proven otherwise to myself. Even then, I swing between confidence and constant self-doubt.
With writing, I’ve needed the encouragement of my husband and my writing mentors, who believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself. But I find that I need that sort of encouragement in other areas of my life, too.
I want to publicly thank my pastor, Scott Ross, for providing that encouragement in the area of music. He leads worship at our church in addition to pastoring, and he’s always looking for new people to train up on the worship team. It’s a Vineyard church, and the Vineyard community of churches has a rich tradition of great contemporary worship and wonderful worship leaders. We have a great worship team at our church–so many talented people. And Scott is always open to taking on one more.
In my case, he had to do a bit of prodding. I sing and play piano, but my experience has all been classical training. I read music, but I never played much by ear. And I’m far more at home with a sonata than a rock song. I’m pretty much a nerd when it comes to pop music–okay, I’m almost completely ignorant. The idea of my playing keyboard and singing in a rock band type of worship team seemed ludicrous. And I told Scott so when he first asked me.
But he saw something I didn’t see. (Probably the empty keyboard sitting on stage, but…whatever.) He didn’t take no for an answer. That was three years ago, and I discovered I actually CAN play in a band. And I don’t suck at it! (Well, not too often, anyway.) In fact, it has brought a depth and richness to my personal worship experience that I’ve never had before. I thought that sort of spiritual experience could only happen when I really get into my writing. I didn’t know I would experience God that way when I play.
A couple weeks ago, Scott approached me with a question that seemed somehow inevitable, but still a bit terrifying. How about LEADING worship? I stammered out an okay, and then wondered what I had just agreed to.
Me? Lead worship? Yeah, right. Let’s see how badly we can ruin the congregation’s Sunday service. But I had said that I’d give it a try. I’m not sure why I did…but I think it was partly because Scott must think I could do it, or he wouldn’t have mentioned it. And that meant a lot to me. I didn’t want to prove him wrong.
We just had our practice this evening. I’m only having to do one song tomorrow–trying to ease me into it. Scott drop-kicks us into stuff, but at least he tries to do it in increments. Practice went fairly well. At least, considering I’ve never led any band on any song in my life. I’m no worship leader prodigy, and it’s a very good thing our congregation is gracious and forgiving, because I’ll need it.
But I didn’t suck at it. In fact, except for being sick to my stomach from nerves, and feeling utterly exhausted and like I just might die…it was kind of fun. The team was supportive, and we laughed and joked a lot. Being dropped kicked into something could be a lot more painful than it was. Now if I can simply survive the one song tomorrow…
So I just want to say thank you to Scott for having the vision to see potential in people, and then being willing to take the time to nurture and bring out that potential. I would never have considered playing with the worship team. I was too convinced of my own lack of ability. And even now, I believe strongly that any ability I have comes from God and not from myself. But still, Scott saw it when I didn’t. And if he hadn’t have acted on what he saw, I would have missed out on a whole world I never thought I could belong to. Sunday morning worship has taken on all new meaning for me, and I love being part of the team.
I think Drop-Kicking must be a spiritual gift. It takes a lot of courage, too–on part of the kickER as well as the kickEE. It takes a willingness to not just mentor and build up a person, but to be willing to allow that person to fail, too. To not be perfect. To make a lot of mistakes. I think it’s scary for any leader to give up that control–especially when it concerns something that could impact the whole congregation. But a good leader is willing to take that risk. Scott’s a very good leader.
I tease Scott about his tendency to drop-kick us. But actually, I need to be drop-kicked. I wouldn’t grow without it.
So this is my tribute and thank you to a wonderful pastor and awesome worship leader. Thank you for seeing potential, believing in us, your patience, your prodding, and for taking risks to train up others. I know you like to act as though it’s all strictly utilitarian in nature, but I think reality is that it’s just the “shepherd” in you showing.
And if I fall flat on my face tomorrow, I’m glad to know you’ll still believe in me and let me try again. (…right???)
Seriously, thanks.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
14
June
2007
 by Vasthi Acosta
Mary Pipher in her book, Writing to Change the World, states:
“In my opinion, true rebels are not anguished, angry individuals mired since adolescence in their own complaints and needs for individuation. True rebels act from a well-developed moral center. They know who they are and what they stand for. Most likely, they are fighting for something that they have spent a lifetime learning to love.” (54)
I have been thinking about this idea for a week now. So, if my thoughts are a bit undeveloped, forgive me. Actually, I’d love for you to help me think it through.
Who would I consider a rebel? The obvious answer is Jesus. He treated women as equals, with dignity and respect. Unheard of at the time. He healed the sick on the Sabbath, a punishable act. He didn’t follow the crowd, but the crowd followed him. He never let other’s expectations dictate his actions, even when it meant his friend would taste death. Without a doubt Jesus acted from a well-developed moral center, he obeyed his Father’s will.
Then I looked closer to home. Am I a rebel?
Sometimes.
When I heard God’s call to leave my career and stay home to home school my children, I was a rebel. Everyone thought I was crazy to leave a promising position heading straight for tenure. But I was listening to the voice of my Father and the yearning He placed in my heart for my family and home.
I wasn’t a rebel when I chased after material wealth, the world’s accolades, and my five minutes of fame. Then I was just running with the pack.
I haven’t felt much like a rebel recently. Maybe its time to listen carefully for my Father’s voice because I still yearn to obey His will.
How about you?
Written By: Vasthi Acosta
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
21
May
2007
By Pattie
(originally posted at Pattie’s Place)
This is a tough week at our house. Chaplain Hubby is shipping out for the “World’s Largest Beach.” I have been reading “mil-spouse” (military wives and husbands) boards and blogs of all branches of service, but nothing has prepared me for the heaviness of heart and sadness I feel as his departure looms ever nearer. The longest we’ve ever been apart up till now is with a military assignment which was around five weeks.
I have it so very easy compared to others. I met a woman a few weeks ago who cannot talk to her husband the entire year he is deployed. He’s in special ops of some kind and is in communicado. Another wife I know is home alone with her two sons while her husband has a remote assignment for a year. Thankfully he has leave around the holidays, and can come home, but then back he goes. I worked as a para one year for a teacher who had that same situation, and it was okay. Tough, but okay. Four months is nothing in comparison.
If you think of me, pray for us, my girls and I. We’ll be fine, and we’ll be strong, and we’ll stay very busy and play and pray and travel and keep a scrapbook and take lots of pictures on my new Mother’s Day/anniversary camera and go swimming and play at parks and attend a wedding and visit family and see our friends and eat fast food sometimes . . . and miss him with all our hearts.
Written By: Pattie
Posted under: On Being a Parent, Women's Voices . Email This Post
7
May
2007
By Barbara
My coworker rushed through the hallway shouting “Thank you, Jesus! Hallelujah! Thank you, Lord!”
Later that same afternoon we threw a goodbye party for this same staff member who is leaving us at the end of the month to build another career. After she was presented with her gift and cards and cake, she stood to say a few words. She looked around the room and called most of us by name, telling us what made her feel close to us or what we had done to make her feel loved.
In the process she began telling us what she would be doing in her new career - helping women heal from hurts – teaching groups and the like. And, then the words came that stopped me short - and I found I could no longer listen to her. My ears hummed and I felt my face flush.
She stood there and told us this . . .”you all deserve what you want out of life. We are gods. We are goddesses!” . . . and there was much more, but I had grown cold and hot all at once. I was listening to blasphemy being blatantly proclaimed in a place* where we Christians are not supposed to proclaim His name. Just earlier in the day I had heard her take my Lord’s name in vain, for that is all it could be.
How can one believe firmly that he or she is a god - and still proclaim that Jesus is Lord? I just don’t get it.
That night I shared the day with my husband. He heard me out and then said - “but we WILL be gods.”
“What?”
“It says it in the Bible - when Jesus comes back we will be gods with Him,” he continued.
“No, it says we will be like Him - not that we will be gods with/like Him.”
Rather than make it a huge argument - because it is not my place to teach him and because such discussions in the past have only led to pain, I stopped there. (My husband proclaimed belief in Jesus long ago, but does not live for Him.)
I cannot forget either my husband’s or her statements. Those words ring of idolatry. They take me right back to Genesis chapter 3 where the serpent tempted Eve with the words “and ye shall be as God . . .”
While I cannot give a whole answer as to why my coworker’s comments seemed to be blasphemy, I can fully agree that I am NOT a god(dess) nor do I want to be. I am comforted by the knowledge that my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and His Father God and the Holy Spirit, in a blessed Trinity are the One and Holy God.
*I work for a non-profit agency and we are not to be blatant in our beliefs. For example, we have “holiday” parties, not Christmas parties!
Written By: barbara
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
25
April
2007
by Meredith Efken
Good things come to those who wait, and I’m sure you’ll agree that this was worth the wait today. Thank you to those of you who participated in my “guess my guest” contest. I’ll be announcing the winner at the end of the interview.
I’m very pleased to welcome an extraordinary woman to Violet Voices today…Teresa Heinz-Kerry. Mrs. Heinz-Kerry has been conducting a blog tour for the past couple of weeks to raise awareness of her Women’s Health and the Environment conference, which was held in Pittsburgh, PA, on April 20th.
I only knew Mrs. Heinz-Kerry as the wife of a senator I highly respect and admire. But after getting the opportunity to meet her in person this past December, I’ve become a fan-for-life. She is tirelessly dedicated to improving the lives of families, especially women, and she has a humility and genuine passion to serve others. She views her efforts to take care of the environment and to help improve the health of women and children as a moral mandate that transcends politics. I’ve found her to be an inspiring role model, and I’m so excited to get to introduce you all to this special lady.
VV: Was there a point in time or a certain event that first sparked your concern or passion about the environment? What is it about the connection between the environment and women’s health that motivates you to take action?
THK: Great questions – let me address each separately:
I think my interest and concern for the environment came from growing up in Africa. The combination of the laws of nature and lessons about cause and effect were important ones. My father was a doctor and shepherded me by his caring for people and working so hard to stem disease. My mother’s gardening and constant nurturing helped me to begin to see how one gets results—or does not!
The environment was real and tangible in Africa – there was an immediacy to it that you couldn’t ignore. One key lesson I remember is that all animals go to the water at sunset and sunrise, so you don’t go then. As a child, I learned to be a curious, caring healer, to protect and nurture, and to be practical about it.
Spending time with my father when he was providing medical care to the native people in the African bush, I began to understand very quickly how precious and valuable our surroundings are. The people of the savannah would kill animals only for food, not sport.
But Africa is very vulnerable to droughts and flooding. Africa is suffering terribly now because of the environmental issues.
With regard to my interest in the connection between women’s health and the environment, it is actually quite simple: we and our children are exposed every day to thousands of man-made chemicals. Hundreds of those chemicals can now be found in the tissue of every human being on the planet, including ones who are still in the womb. Most of us don’t know what chemicals are in the products we use, and there are no warning labels. Even though we know about phthalates and bisphenol A and other individual chemicals, we don’t know what the “cocktail effect†is. Some of the ingredients may be inactive by themselves, but mixed with others inside our bodies, they may be dangerous, especially to children. We can do biomonitoring on the body burdens of each chemical, but that information still doesn’t tell us how these chemicals may interact.
Our skin is our largest organ, remember. Everything we put onto it, we absorb just as if we were like eating or drinking it.
We have a Food and Drug Administration for food and drugs, and an Environmental Protection Agency for water and air quality, but we do not have an agency that monitors health and personal care products. Those products can be toxic, and women are more vulnerable than men because we use more than men, and our hormones are affected by some of the chemicals in these products. The European Union has outlawed 250 of the typical personal care products, whereas we have we outlawed only five. That’s because the EU utilizes the precautionary principle, whereby the manufacturer of a product has to prove it is safe before it goes onto the market. In the United States, it’s us getting sick or not who show whether a product is safe or not safe. The U.S. approach is shortsighted and punitive; it’s not the American way.
These kinds of questions led me to initiate the Women’s Health and Environment conferences we launched in Boston in 1996. And, this year, we just finished a wonderful conference in Pittsburgh. It was a full day of identifying problems and proposing solutions.
It is important to me that women and men have the information they need to make informed decisions, know how to find specific answers, or where to go with questions. Educating a woman means educating the whole family and I am happy to support that kind of learning.
VV: Africa sounds beautiful–I can see how you would come to care about our world so much by living in that sort of natural beauty. And the effects you’ve described of health and beauty products is truly chilling. Thank you for your efforts to bring these dangers to our attention.
A lot of us on this blog are moms. So I was wondering, as you were raising your children, what were some things you found helpful in teaching them to care for the environment?
THK: I didn’t start out being an environmentalist; I started out as a mother. I taught my boys about health, about beauty, and we witnessed as much creation as we could. Today, they are all good cooks; they care about healthy ingredients. We grew vegetables, and raised our own grass-fed steers on the farm when they were growing up. Food was and is a source of nutrition and wellness and pleasure. It was important to me that we had a lot of enjoyment around the table. But that takes some effort.
One of my grown children lives almost completely off the grid, and his family are healthy vegetarians. Another son loves to go to restaurants and he is an environmentalist who travels and fosters a healthier approach to life. My third son is aware and caring but not yet attached to a way of doing this. But all three are disciplined about the environmental impact of what they buy.
One of most interesting tools I used when they were growing up was to quote my father; I would tell them that they would get dyspepsia if they drank pop all the time! They had a little ginger ale at birthday parties, but no sweets in packages. Food should be of high quality, and they did not get a lot of sugar either. My late husband, John Heinz, was working on a bill on diabetes research in 1972. I read through it and decided it was time to make some changes! Sundays after church was the only day they could have sweets. I discovered the wisdom of this approach later on. They were much more disciplined about their intake of foods that were not healthy and when they arrived at the age when many children begin to experiment with drugs, they had a basic respect for self and for moderation and quality. Create the capacity for making good healthy choices and later that just takes over. It takes a lot of stubbornness to be a parent. I learned this from my own parents, not from a book, but it seems to have worked out.
It is also worth remembering that Pittsburgh’s air was for years laden with thick black smoke from the steel mills, and I think this impacted or enhanced their understanding. Kids know about asthma and other environmentally influenced sicknesses.
VV: Wow! That is actually so encouraging to me–the things you did with your children were so…normal. I can do those things. In fact, some of them, like limiting candy and junk food, I’m already doing. Whew…maybe I’m doing better at this mom-stuff than I thought. Thank you so much!
Okay, one last question: I’m 32 and a stay-at-home mom of two girls. As an experienced mom and someone who has been an active proponent of women’s health (as well as a rather wise lady with valuable life experience), what advice do you have for me in terms of either my own health or environmental safety at this stage in my life?
THK: Since our skin is our largest organ, I would begin by understanding what impact the cosmetics, personal and household products are having in both the short and long term. I have talked about this issue before but it bears repeating.
Second, I would look at the website for the Environmental Working Group to make sure the personal care products your daughters are using are not adversely impacting their normal growth process.
Third, look for ways to increase what you might be able to buy from local organic farmers, and if there aren’t any organic farmers nearby, at least get to know your local farmers and see what they sell and eat themselves. Are they responsible consumers and caring cultivators?
Try your hand at growing some things yourself. And look at the Environmental Working Group site for food safety hints. For example, hard-skinned fruit is generally safer, but you should buy organic soft skin fruit, preferably locally grown so you know the source. Make sure your meat (chicken and beef) does not have antibiotics, as well as your milk. It is preferable to look for grass-fed beef, pasture-fed cows, and corn-fed chicken, if you can find it. Eat vegetables from the broccoli family, including cabbage and cauliflower that are high in antioxidants. Wash them all well, of course, but don’t eat soft lettuce and spinach unless they very clean and/or organic because it is hard to get the pesticides off. If you can’t afford to buy organic milk or it is hard to find, one cup a day of the organic type is better than the hormone-laden regular milk. We do not want hormones in kid’s bodies. And if you’re want to eat meat, look into eating rabbit, which is high in protein with no fat.
Fourth, the future of the environment depends upon the willingness of each of us to get involved, whether locally or nationally, in an effort to create greater accountability of elected officials and the laws they pass regarding the environment. The old phrase “think globally and act locally†still rings true today, perhaps more than ever.
VV: Thanks so much, Teresa. These are great suggestions, and I appreciate how practical and doable they are. Sometimes, trying to be more careful about our health and taking care of our world seems really intimidating. It’s hard to know where to start. I appreciate the simple steps and suggestions. Thank you for all your efforts, and for being an inspiration and role model for all of us.
Be sure to check out the new Women’s Health and the Environment web site, and the rest of Mrs. Heinz-Kerry’s blog tour –there’s a wealth of information in every single one of her interviews, and several more days to go. Also, for a look at what other “normal people” are doing across the country to help improve the environment, take a look at the new book she and Senator Kerry co-authored:
This Moment on Earth: Today’s New Environmentalists and Their Vision for the Future
Tomorrow’s blog tour stop is one you won’t want to miss! For all you stay-at-home moms and for all you unschoolers, as well as anyone who enjoys the high-spirited and the off-beat, Cocking A Snook is a must-visit blog. (And if you don’t know what that phrase means, you’ll just have to visit the blog to find out. It’s not what you might think!) They’ll be hosting Mrs. Heinz-Kerry for another great interview, so stop by.
Now, for the winner of my “guess my guest” contest… *drum roll*
Kajudy!!!
(In my best game-show announcer voice:) Congratulations, Kajudy, you have just won an all-expense paid trip to Amazon.com where you will be able to spend a gift certificate on your choice of thousands of great products! (Hopefully environmentally friendly, healthy ones!) I’ll email you!
Thanks again, everyone, for helping make this special guest appearance so much fun. And a final thanks to Teresa Heinz-Kerry for her willingness to share a bit of her story with us. I think she qualifies as a Violet Voice, don’t you think?
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: On Being a Parent, Stay At Home Parents, Women's Voices . Email This Post
25
April
2007
by Meredith Efken
Today’s the day! Thank you to everyone who entered my contest. The interview with my special guest will post later today, so I encourage you to check back and read it. I’ll also announce who won the guessing contest. You all are some very Google-smart folks! 
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
23
April
2007
by Meredith Efken
On April 25th, Violet Voices will play host to a very special lady. She’s world-famous, but many people don’t know the real her. Her story begins in Mozambique as the daughter of an oncologist. The story winds through her years as a stay-at-home mom and her marriages to two well-known men. But it’s not a story about them. It’s about her–and her passion to see the lives of women bettered. It’s about her dedication on behalf of children and her concern about leaving this world God has given us a better place than when we found it. She speaks five languages, loves to cook, and has been known to stay up late at night blogging. She’s a mom, a philanthropist, an author, a wife, and an advocate for those who don’t have a strong voice.
I’ve personally met her and found her to be someone to admire and a person who is generous, warm, and insightful. And she’s coming to OUR blog!!!
You really won’t want to miss this. So to get the word out, I’m inviting you in the next 48 hours to take your best guess about who my special guest is. Register on the blog, and leave a comment with your guess. All registered commenters who have a correct guess will be put into a drawing for a small prize.
If you already know the answer, go ahead and leave a comment anyway, but don’t give away the answer for everyone else. You can contact me if you want to be included in the contest.
Also, please let your friends know about this special event, too. You can email this post to them by using the link at the end of the post.
See you all on Wednesday!
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
6
April
2007
By Barbara
Heard part of a song on my way to work this morning that made laugh out loud - the sentiment, I’m sure, was honest and true, but it just cracked me up. I’ve no clue who was singing - or the name of the song - it was on the Christian radio station about 7:45 Alaska morning time.
The phrase? Talking about the crucifixion - after 3 days . . . you can’t keep a good Man down.
And my laughter? Not so much at the sentiment - because it is true - He arose on the third day - but more because my reaction was so much like my Grandma Abbott would have had - did have whenever my sister and I would rave about the (at that time) new group, the Beatles. She would roll her eyes and bemoan the insensitivities of youth “these days.”
Yes, I admit, my first thought was on the irreverence - or perceived irreverence of the phrase. But you know what?
I’m ever so glad that the devil could NOT keep THE Good Man down!
It is a GOOD Friday, indeed.
first published 04-06-07 at my blog
Written By: barbara
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
2
April
2007
By Meredith Efken
Last week, two friends of mine made an exciting announcement on one of our writer email loops. They found each other through the writers group, and now they are getting married! One of them occasionally comments on this blog, so she gave me permission to post the link to their very cute story announcement. If you want some warm fuzzies on this Monday, visit their Love Story.
Then come back and leave your well-wishes for my friends. Both have been waiting a long time for the right person to come into their lives, and I’m so glad they found each other.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
