19
March
2007
By Barbara
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s . . . The last of the Ten Commandments, it s in no way the least of the commandments. So hard to obey – but it so very important.
I am delighted to tell you all that my oldest daughter’s writing has been selected twice recently. The first time was for a Writers Night competition. The second time was for a highly acclaimed college publication.
Interestingly, my offered work was not selected either time. Interestingly, I had to literally force her to enter the first (all entrants to the first were entered into the second – something we didn’t know until today.) In fact, I hand delivered her entry to that competition.
All together now – what a good mama!
Not so fast my friends. As dearly as I love my daughter – and as proud of her as I am – and for as smitten as I am with her writing – there has been just that tiniest, niggling, bone of jealousy. (and me with blue eyes, not green)
Why was her writing better than mine? Why her writing chosen when mine was was not? Why?
Pretty juvenile, isn’t it? Sounds like sibling rivalry. Almost.
What it really is – is sin. It is coveteousness. And it is offensive to my Lord.
I have congratulated her – and I have done it sincerely. I will likely purchase a couple of extra copies of the publication when it is printed.
All that aside, I need to ask my Lord for forgiveness and pray that I can be a bit more like Him the next time she and I enter such a contest – and she is recognized and I am not. You see – that is likely to happen more and more as she grows in her craft. She is an accomplished writer and I am thankful for her gift
Written By: barbara
Posted under: On Being a Parent, Women's Voices . 
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10
March
2007
By Meredith Efken
As an author and freelance editor, I’m somewhat in the public view. My picture is posted on both my websites and in the back of my books. I do some speaking and the occasional (sparsely attended) book signing. So it’s only natural that I want to look my best, instead of looking like a candidate for What Not To Wear.
Problem is, I didn’t grow up in a family that had money to spare for things like fashion or keeping up with trends. I never learned how to shop or how to choose clothes that looked good on me. My method for dealing with the whole clothing issue was to wait until I couldn’t put it off any more, and then do a panic shopping trip. I’d bring home my new outfits, put them on, stand in front of the mirror…
And realize they looked hideous on me!
Adding to that, I’ve always struggled with self-image issues and trying to accept myself for who I am. I’m learning that there’s a fine balance between wanting to look one’s best and wanting to be someone you’re not. It’s not an easy line to walk. And for someone like me who had never had any guidance, it’s hard to even locate the line!
I don’t know how many of you can relate to these struggles. Probably quite a few. And you might be thinking that it doesn’t really matter anyway because you’re not in the public view. Maybe you’re pretty much a home body. So you think that your own appearance isn’t all that important. Or maybe you’ve been taught that it’s wrong to care how you look–because true beauty is what’s inside.
I have been through all that. And what I’ve found is that how you treat the outside of your body is usually a reflection of what you think of yourself inside. When I felt ashamed of my body, or when I lacked self-confidence, I tended to choose baggy, sloppy clothes that allowed me to hide. When I went shopping, I tended to choose clothing that reminded me of something that made me feel good, or that I admired on someone else.
Even the colors–I liked colors that made me feel like I didn’t stand out, that helped me recede.
Notice–nothing that I’ve described had anything to do with what actually looked good on ME. And that’s why when I got home from a shopping trip, I would invariably be disappointed.
I feel like I have a long way to go in learning how to first see myself the way God sees me, and then reflect that view in the way I treat my body. But my friend, Christine, helped me a lot. She’s an image coach. She helps both men and women learn how to choose clothes and accessories (like make-up or hairstyles) that bring out the best in that person. She also helps people learn to accept themselves and appreciate who they are as people. I like to think of it as she helps us recognize our inner beauty by teaching us how to reflect it on the outside.
I’d like to encourage all of you–whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a career woman, or even one of the few guys that I’m sure lurks here (even though they don’t comment)–to take a look at Integrity Works and read Christine’s information there. I think you’ll find it encouraging and informative.
We all need to feel beautiful, don’t you think? 
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Stay At Home Parents, Women's Voices . Email This Post
9
March
2007
By Vasthi Acosta
I love to read and write. To me words carry power because through them ideas are expressed, and ideas can shake, even alter, our world.
Ideas expressed in the written form make them more acceptable, credible. They allow the idea to go beyond the limits of the speaker, out into the vast world — to touch, change and impact others.
The Holy Bible is the most obvious written method God uses to speak to us. For we have all experienced that moment when you read a verse and it feels as if the words jump off the page and sear themselves to your heart. Words that correct, teach, comfort, even dramatically change us. After all, it is the LIVING word of God.
But our God uses other writing, as well, to speak to us. The writings of our predecessors: Martin Luther, John of the Cross, Brother Lawrence, Teresa de Avila, George MacDonald and C. S. Lewis (a few that have taught me). We are also blessed to have contemporaries that examine their lives, seek God, and share their insights with us. In that manner, they allow God to speak to us through their words.
As a lover of fiction, I’ve heard God’s voice in novels too. When I become immersed in the struggles of the fictional characters, I’ve been challenged to know what is right and choose God’s path. In observing love lived out, I’ve yearned to do the same. And every now and then, a story opens a window into the spiritual realm and I catch a glimpse of that dimension.
God speak in many languages, the written word is probably the most pendantic, and yet, I would call it an honor, a privilege, to have the Lord use my written words for His glory.
God speaks to us through His written word the Holy Bible. But be on the look out because you might hear His voice in other writings too.
Written By: Vasthi Acosta
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
8
March
2007
by Meredith Efken
I’m trying something new–participating in a blog carnival. I’ve belonged to CrazyHipBlogMamas almost since I started Violet Voices, but I want to get more involved. Their weekly Carnival of the CrazyHipMamas seems like a good place to start.
The question for this week is “What was your favorite TV show as a kid?”
I blush to answer because the answer also reveals my first celebrity crush…
Knight Rider.
Alas, ’tis true. My little friend and I (we were about upper elementary at the time) thought David Hasselhoff was the most fabulous thing God ever created. Although, I must say…I think I was equally in love with K.I.T.T., the car. I joined the fan club, even! Got the signed photo and everything. Oh my goodness, my parents must have been despairing of my good taste.
Hmm…Well, at least K.I.T.T. was worth swooning over.
Okay, ‘fess up, all. What were your favorite shows?
(Thanks to The Knight Rider Archive for this terrific shot of my main squeeze.)
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
7
March
2007
by Meredith Efken
Anybody been following this bizarre story? A group of five bone boxes have been found in Israel, bearing inscriptions that have lead a couple of researchers to conclude they are the bones of the Virgin Mary, Mary of Magdalene, Jesus Christ, and his son Judah, as well as the disciple Matthew.
My friend, Randy Ingermanson, who has a PhD in theoretical physics as well as being an all-around brilliant math guy (and a fabulous novelist, to boot!) has done a really fascinating statistical analysis of the likelihood of these bones belonging to the people that the researchers claim they belong to. It’s definitely worth a look–and don’t worry, if you’re not a math person (I’m not) you’ll still be able to follow the argument.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
26
February
2007
By Meredith Efken
A couple weeks ago, I got an intriguing comment to an archived post about alternative menstrual products. I felt the comment deserved a response, so I’ve decided to dedicate a new post to it.
Michelle says:
Maybe you shouldn’t too proud of your periods. It is after all a reminder that we women are responsible for original sin (via Eve). It seems to me that our periods should be inconvenient.
This sentiment made me terribly sad. I don’t think I know Michelle, but if she happens to see this post, I want her to know that God is not a vengeful, punishing Being who bears a grudge against all women because of Eve. He loves us, and our bodies and the way they function are a beautiful gift from Him because of that love.
I didn’t always believe this either, Michelle. I used to feel similarly to you. I used to think that God somehow wanted His daughters to be uncomfortable and in pain to forever punish us for something one woman did ages ago. I don’t know how my faith ever survived that horrible teaching. But I can tell you that I experienced such a sense of healing and love when I finally was presented with the truth.
Without getting into a lengthy theological discussion, I would like to point out that the Genesis account of the sin of Adam and Eve, as well as later references to it in the New Testament, clearly portray Eve’s problem as one of deception, and Adam’s problem as one of rebellion. Now, either way, the end result was still sin and death entering what had been a perfect world. But the teaching that Eve is somehow solely responsible or more culpable than Adam is completely incorrect. If anything, the Bible places slightly more guilt on Adam because he was not deceived–he sinned deliberately.
Furthermore, if you’ll notice in Genesis 3, God curses the Serpent directly. But that is the only being that is directly cursed. The only other time the word “Cursed” is used is in reference to the ground, because of what ADAM did. Eve is never cursed, and neither is anything cursed because of her.
Regarding all this stuff about pain in childbirth, etc., God’s Word To Women has a very good scripture study about this. My view is that God is simply letting Eve know what the consequences will be for what’s happened. As a result of her deception and Adam’s rebellion, things changed horribly. Their relationship was ruined. And because of the changes that would now take place between them and in the world at large, childbirth would become something that would cause pain.
This word for “pain” in Hebrew is the same one that God uses when He tells Adam that he would now have to “toil” to work the ground. It’s also a word that connotes deep emotional or spiritual sorrow and grief. I personally think this means that God was simply acknowledging that now that sin was in the world, raising children and caring for them would leave a person open to great sorrow because of the hurts that child would face. As a parent, this seems to be far more significant than simply physical pain during childbirth. (And I should know–I had the pregnancy from hell!!!)
So, am I “proud” of my periods? I don’t think that’s quite the word for it. I am grateful that God has made my body so wonderful and complex. If I take pride in anything, it is in the creative powers of the God that I worship. I want to treat my body–including my reproductive system–with care and respect.
But I don’t agree that there is any Biblical basis for suggesting that monthly cycles ought to be inconvenient or even painful simply as a way of punishing women. That doesn’t line up with the God I worship, who describes Himself as “loving, kind, faithful, and merciful.” I do acknowledge that periods can be inconvenient and painful, but I still maintain that as we women learn to understand our bodies better and appreciate them, there is much we can do to work with the way God has made us, instead of against. And this will result in bodies that function with less pain and with less inconvenience.
To me, this is all part of God’s redemption plan. His mercy. His kindness.
Because He loves me. A woman.
For Michelle, and any other woman out there who feels the way she does, I pray that this God of Love and Mercy will lift your heads and reveal to your hearts exactly how beautiful and precious you are to Him–in mind, spirit, AND in body.
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: On Being a Parent, Women's Voices . Email This Post
24
February
2007
Several years ago, there was a Super Bowl commercial for Mountain Dew (click here to watch the commercial on YouTube). There is a guy (who actually happens to be my actor cousin) riding a dirt bike, chasing a cheetah over the rocky terrain. He finally catches up to the cheetah, pulls out an empty Mountain Dew can, and says, “Bad cheetah!”
The best line is the last one, where the biker’s friend says, “See? That’s why I’m not a cat person!”
I was thinking about cats and dogs today, when I read an online friend’s blog and saw that her family adopted a new dog. I’m absolutely a dog person, not a cat person. There have only been two cats who have tolerated me: KittyKat, whom I used to watch in high school when her family went out of town, and Buttons, my best friend’s cat who lived with us one month when my allergic husband was away.
My dog now is Princess Buttercup, an adopted spoiled rotten cocker spaniel who is a great companion to me. Why is she so great? Well, she’s loyal while also slightly neurotic (she likes to tear up used kleenex while I’m out and leave the pieces out for me to clean up when I come home). She’s always home with me, and she responds to my voice. She comes to me when I call her. She’s a good lap warmer when I’m on the couch. And she listens.
There is no doubt who is Princess’s master. It’s me. Always. My husband says when I’m gone, she goes upstairs and sleeps. She doesn’t really come to life, not really, until I’m home.
Mark Twain has a quotation about dogs that I absolutely adore:
“Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”
I hope that I’m as loyal to Christ as my dog is to me.
So, are you a cat person? Or a dog person?
Written By: Pattie
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
22
February
2007
by Meredith Efken
I was tagged last week by Amber Miller (scroll down to “Tag You’re It” on February 12, 2007), and didn’t have a chance to get my participating post up yet. So here goes.
Six Weird Things About…AMBER MILLER!
(Oh, oops. You mean this isn’t supposed to be me commenting on Amber? It’s supposed to be weird things about ME? Okay…if you insist.)
All right, Six Weird Things About Me. (Other than my warped sense of humor…)
- I can’t stand wrinkled, untucked sheets on my bed. If I can feel the wrinkles at my feet, I have to get up and straighten everything before I can go to sleep.
- I absolutely LOVE the country of Wales and aspire to be fluent in Welsh someday. I’d also like to at least visit Wales for an extended time. I don’t understand why this country fascinates me so, but I love the land, the language, the people, the history…everything.
- Cracking crab legs makes me physically ill. In college, I was on a date and had ordered crab legs. Never had them before, and the minute my date started showing me how to use the cracker on them, I got woozy and had to leave the restaurant. I felt so bad, I insisted on paying for dinner, but I think my date gallantly refused.
- I don’t use an office chair at my desk. I use an exercise ball. I find that it helps greatly with relieving pain in my lower back and in my wrists. And when I think of something brilliant for my books, I can bounce with excitement.
- I don’t like coffee. I like chai.
- My feet are almost always cold and I have to wear thick wool socks all year, except for summer, to keep them from getting numb.
I think that’s all. I will now tag some fabulous fellow bloggers to talk about six weird things about THEM, not ME!
Christine Lynxwiler
Angie Farnsworth
Jacinda Shanks
Purple Moose
Chaos-Jamie
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
12
February
2007
By Vasthi Acosta
Sometimes I just want to live in ignorance, deceive myself into a lull of false security. Let the lies the world bombards guide me in my life decisions.
Thankfully, God loves me too much to let that go on for too long. So lately, I’ve confronted some lies in my life.
In my Sunday school class we’ve been studying a book by Tracie Peterson, Allison Bottke and Dianne O’Brian titled, I can’t do it all! Breaking free from the lies that control us. This book has made me do some serious self examination. So far, we’ve covered half of the fourteen lies presented:
I deserve to have it all, and have it all right now.
I need a man/baby/career/money to be happy and fulfilled.
I can do it all.
I can’t trust anybody.
I can make my own truth.
If I’m unhappy, I don’t have to stay.
I don’t have time to be healthy.
I must be thin to be happy — for the media tellls me so.
True love is like a romance novel.
I can be young forever.
It’s my choice.
The more I do, the more God will like me.
I don’t need to forgive — and I don’t deserve forgiveness.
I don’t need God.
I’ve learned a lot so far, mostly about myself and my need to walk in truth. I’ve learned that I have to seek God first, and as I seek Him, my heart will change, my worries will dissipate, my strength will be renewed, my path will become staright, I ‘ll never be alone and His peace will envelop me. I just need to stay connected to the source — Jesus Christ.
I also learned I’m not alone in this struggle, many women are just like me. So, what lies is the world yelling at you today? Which ones have you fallen victim to?
Just call, help is on the way.
Written By: Vasthi Acosta
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
11
February
2007
by Meredith Efken
I’m blogging today over at Faithchicks, on the subject of peace. Please come over and check it out!
Written By: Meredith Efken
Posted under: Women's Voices . Email This Post
